Alice in Wonderland

Losing My Crackers

2012-02-11T21:30:00.000-05:00

While I run the water for Judah's bath, he likes to throw in a few special ingredients of his own.

He runs to his room and grabs his drumsticks and throws them into the water. And then he goes back to get his Bob the Builder and throws him in. And then all his animal figurines from his Noah's ark toy.

Today, I stupidly let him run around with a bag of graham crackers while I filled up his bathtub. I turned around and wouldn't you know it--Judah had dumped the entire bag of crackers into his tub. I screamed. I groaned. I cursed (thankful that Judah could not yet repeat it).

It was the last straw to an already exhausting and frustrating day. Since 7am in the morning, everything has been greeted with fussing and whining. Judah, let's change your diapers--waaaah! Judah, let's get dressed--waaaah! Judah, eat some breakfast--Judah throws everything on the floor. You get the idea.

On top of all that, he's been wanting to nurse non-stop. All. Day. Long. Seriously, he nurses more than a 3 month old. Probably because he was just diagnosed with an ear infection, poor guy, and isn't feeling great. But nursing him is no easy feat. First, he needs a thousand conditions to be perfect. He asks for his blanket, and then a book of his choice (yeah, who needs to hold a book while nursing, sheesh!), and just when we're all settled in he shouts "Other!", which means it's time to switch him to the other side and readjust everything all over again. Frankly, he shouts "Other!" every 20 seconds. I'm not exaggerating.

And the cherry on top is that I'm sick. Again. For the 3rd time in as many weeks. ARGH.

So at the end of a loooooooooooong day of whining and nursing, I saw those soggy crackers sink to the bottom of his tub and completely lost it. I screamed. He screamed. I screamed back.

Thankfully spouse removed the child from the bathroom while I removed the crackers. Without the spouse intervening, I don't know what I would've done!

Once again, I don't know how single parents do it.

Number One Fan

2012-02-10T21:30:00.000-05:00

Recently we went to a park near a soccer field and Judah, as obsessed with balls as always, was in heaven. I love how these shots make Judah look like such an avid soccer fan.

In this pic he's thinking--Over there in the back, he's wide open! Pass it!

Oh man, so close. Would've been an amazing goal.

What coach? There's a player out? You need someone to step in from the sidelines?

I'm so there! Uhhhhh...if only my mom would stop holding me back! Uhhhh!

It was good practice for my future as a soccer mom.

Judah's Expressions

2012-02-09T11:00:00.000-05:00

Judah got to dabble in some finger paints at our wonderful neighbor's house.

I love that you can actually see his fingerprints at the bottom left-hand corner in the picture below.

Lately Judah's gone through a cognitive explosion--repeating tons of words and answering every question with "Yeah." Seriously, he says yeah maybe 300x a day. To everything. For example:

Me: Judah, did you go to Habitot today?

Judah: Yeah!

Me: Or did you go to the park?

Judah: Yeah.

Me: Which one is it?

Judah: Yeah.

Among the list of new words Judah knows are the following:
--Croc (he puts his hands together like a big jaw shutting and also point to his croc shoes)
--Snake (he puts his hands together and slithers them while saying 'ssssss')
--Bible (he loves his baby board book Bible)
--Book
--Blanket (he says 'buh-tuh')
--Up (and down is 'dup')
--Out (except he says 'ouk')
--Potato (except he says 'puh-tuh-tuh')
--Music
--Other (this he says with crystal clarity as he demands to nurse on the other side)
--Train (he says 'choo choo')
--Cheddar (he says 'che-che-che')
--Home (sounds like 'ohm-ma')
--Bucket (surprisingly clear)
--Juice (sounds like 'jhuuu')
--No more (actually he's saying it in Spanish--no mas, and sounds like 'no ma')
And my favorite:
--Judah (sounds like 'dhu-dhu-dah')

Girl Stuff

2012-02-07T11:30:00.000-05:00

This is what happens when your best friend is a girl.

Judah doesn't seem to care if things are pink and purple with princesses all over. He's also happy to be busy in the kitchen doing "women's work."

He also loves trying on sweet little mary janes with flowers on them. Wish I had gotten a picture of that! Speaking of kodak moments, this pic was taken just a split-second too late--after Judah planted a big smooch on his sweet friend.

Oh how mommy loves gathering incriminating photos of her sweet boy. All the better the blackmail him as a teenager.

Major Pain and General Fustard

2012-02-06T16:22:00.001-05:00

Lest I paint too rosy a picture of life with Judah, here are a list of our major daily problems. Roll 'em!

--Judah fights every diaper change. EVERY FREAKING DIAPER CHANGE. He's been doing this for a while, but he's stronger, faster, and harder to distract now. Must I continue to look for mind-blowing objects in order to do a 60 second exchange? Come on now!

--Judah fights putting on shirts and getting dressed in general, but especially shirts. The boy loves to bare his chest and hates covering up. What can I say? Every time I slip a shirt over his head--WAAAAAAAAAH!

--He won't stop throwing food on the floor and/or spitting food out onto the floor. He knows its wrong because I tell him 'no!' and slap his little hand. He looks at me right before he does it--sometimes teasing me by dangling it over the edge in anticipation. I don't think it's quite time for heavy-duty disciplining...but it sure is getting close!

--And the naps. Oh the naps. Or lack thereof. He will fight. It. To. The. Death. I once battled him for 90 minutes to get him to go down. He screamed at the top of his lungs for pretty much the entire 90 minutes, wailing, standing up in his crib, screaming. The boy only naps with his nanny. And even then, he wakes up every 30 minutes and needs to be carefully assisted back to sleep--just the right amount of holding him, patting his back, fervent prayer, etc.

Wait, I just realized this list basically comprises the entire day--diaper changes, feedings, and naps. No wonder I feel like I've fought a war at the end of every day!

Reaching for the Moon

2012-02-06T13:00:00.000-05:00

A few weeks back we visited our local Gymboree, which is basically a gym class for babies. The leader did a fantastic job guiding the 6-7 toddlers around giant obstacle courses and singing group songs.

Judah, however, could care less about the group activities.

He was busy engaging in his life-long obsession with balls of all shapes and sizes. He would not stop picking up balls from a huge bucket full of them and was thrilled when he encountered this mini-basketball hoop.

He had seen basketball hoops before at the park and had always wanted to shoot a ball through them (but obviously couldn't!). So this mini-hoop was, quite frankly, his idea of paradise.

Just yesterday, I showed Judah the bright full moon in the sky and told him it was like a big ball of light. He started saying 'ball', pointing to the moon and tried to grab it.

I told him that's a ball even mommy can't get for you. He jumped a few more times with his arms high overhead, trying again. Part of me melts whenever I think of this. Moon metaphors are so wonderfully sappy. Judah, shoot for the moon son. Mommy loves you to the moon and back.

And part of me marvels how 18 month olds are so lacking in perspective. Is his depth perception so bad that the moon isn't obviously out of reach? But come to think of it, I think I'd much rather adopt his view.

Stricken, Smitten and Afflicted

2012-02-03T13:00:00.000-05:00

This week, we have been completely wiped out.

Judah had the sniffles and an eye-infection. I'm fairly certain he passed his virus onto me which took me out of commission, and I passed it onto the spouse. The poor spouse took it the worst and was bedridden for a couple days--literally, couldn't get out of bed.

I know toddlers are supposed to get sick all the time as they share germs with their little friends, but I didn't realize this extended to their poor parents!

Here's a random pic of Judah's nightime reading ritual. Flu or no flu, he must have his nightly Dr. Seuss.

Good Morning Crusty

2012-01-30T11:30:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the gross picture, but this was the look of horror that greeted me one morning as I picked Judah up from his crib.

The blood streaks on his bedsheet was pretty gruesome too. Wonder what causes bloody noses in babies while they sleep?

Pimp My Bathtowel

2012-01-24T10:30:00.000-05:00

Check out my custom-made bathrobe!

Yep, that's my name embroidered on the front there.

You're never too young to look like a playa'!

STILL!

2012-01-23T15:11:00.000-05:00

There are two things about Judah that amazes me, three things that I do not understand (okay, I only threw that in there to match Proverbs, but it kinda works).

First, he still wears a drool bib. STILL! The boy is almost 18 months old and he still drools like a fiend. I know he's popping out teeth like it's going out of style, but so are other toddlers and they don't drool 8 oz of saliva onto their shirts every hour. When I brought this up to his pediatrician she had this oh-so-not-comforting response: Some kids are just droolers. My daughter didn't stop drooling until she was 3. THREE?! THREE?!

Second, he's still nursing. STILL! I had a goal of nursing him to 12 months and letting him wean himself when he started losing interest. But he hasn't completely lost interest yet...it's still the easiest way to 'prime' him for sleep and comfort him when he wakes up or is super cranky (which is all too often). I'm torn between wanting the sweet freedom that comes with weaning (oh how I would LOVE to not have to wake up with my human alarm clock) and not wanting to end our sweet little bonding times.

I like to store up memories of nursing my sweet boy, snuggled in his baby blanket and with his favorite CD on, rocking in his dim room...all comfort and peace...knowing that soon he'll be weaned and I'll never have these times with him ever again.

And then I think about how annoying it is that he has now entered a new phase where he...let's just say, likes to be very "hands-on." And how nice it would be to not be the one who ALWAYS has to put him down for bedtime. Oh, the life-long tension of parenting--freedom v. sweet servility.

Third, he still can't crawl. STILL! Actually, that's no longer true. He crawled for the first time a couple weeks ago. I vividly remember seeing him on his hands and knees on his playmat. But instead of just collapsing onto his tummy, he started moving his arms and legs back and forth. Spouse and I stared at him and then at each other whispering with breath bated, "Is he...? Is he...is he...actually...crawling?"

Indeed! Almost a year after most babies have mastered the skill, our talented and gifted son (ha!) has finally figured it out!

Judah Take the Wheel

2012-01-23T11:00:00.000-05:00

Judah is in a "wheel" phase.

This is the guy who "plays" with fancy new toys for literally 20 seconds before getting distracted by other things. But, he stood in front of this wheel for at least 10 minutes, staring, turning, touching, staring some more.

Babies, what the heck goes on in their heads?!

Back to the Shire

2012-01-20T13:30:00.000-05:00

Dear Judah--You took your first long trip and you were a champion traveler. Here's you sitting in your first airplane seat.

You took all the discomfort of travel and jetlag much better than your whiny fussy dad. While we flew for 5 hours, you napped, snacked and played with the truckful of new toys I bought you--books, balloons, stickers, a slinky, playdo, and some silly putty.

On our way home in the shuttle bus that took us back to the long-term parking lot was the first time you showed signs of weariness. Although you took everything in stride, I think your poor tired parents aren't keen to take you on another trip for a looooooong time.

Welcome home my little world-weary traveler.

Shop Til They Drop

2012-01-19T13:00:00.000-05:00

There wasn't a lot to do in "Podunk", Ohio, but as long as I'm near a mall, I'm a happy camper. I thought I'd get to luxuriate in some Judah-fuss-free shopping since Spouse and his sister were tagging along to watch el bebo.

But much to my chagrin, after about an hour, I heard a lot of fussing and whining following me around. However, it wasn't coming from Judah! It was coming from the other male of the house--begging to go home because he was exhausted and generally hates malls.

Sigh, I guess when it comes to shopping, I just can't win. If it's not Judah expiring, it's his dad.

Oh well, at least it's better for the wallet this way.

Thirty Something

2012-01-17T15:00:00.000-05:00

This weekend a friend asked me how old I was. I answered honestly--31. My friend was skeptical as we traded Chinese zodiac signs. He accused me of actually being 32.

Without blinking an eye, I said--No, I'll be 32 in 2012. And that's when I remembered (a) the year is now 2012 and (b) that this (what's going on in the picture) had happened recently while we were in Ohio.

OMG! My mommmy brain (and perhaps a leetle beeeet of wishful thinking) made me completely forget that I just had a birthday!

How does it feel to be 32? Meh, not much different than 31...which is not that different than 30. But it sure sounds a heck of a lot older! After having a kid, I prefer to think of myself as ageless...primarily because I honestly can't keep it straight in my head anymore.

Here We Go Again (Argh)

2012-01-16T15:29:00.002-05:00

Well, it was bound to happen again.

Every few months Judah's sleeping habits devolve to the point where frankly, I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! And the ugly specter of sleep-training once again rears its wailing head.

This time Judah's learned to pull himself to standing in his crib. At first we were afraid our poor guy didn't know how to lay back down, so we would go to him, lay him down and pat his back.But then he decided he needed to pop up again and again, instead of staying down while we patted his back. He became a giant Mexican jumping bean--we'd lay him down, he'd pop up, we'd lay him down, he'd pop up--occasionally he wanted us to pick him up and then put him in his crib and then pick him up again and then put him back in his crib...

You get the picture. This is not cute during the day and it is infinitely more not cute at 2am, 4am, 5am, and 6am each night. After a week of these shenanigans, we finally decided we couldn't continue to live like this. And Judah was getting awfully sleep-deprived as well by our lack of 'boundaries'.

But it's one thing to sleep-train a 6 month old baby. It's another thing entirely to train a toddler. Judah's so much older now and he can yell (boy can he yell) so much louder and make heartbreaking sounds like (maaaa-maaaaa!). And he could really hurt himself throwing himself against his crib bars.

But honestly, we felt like there was no other solution than to have him cry his eyes out on his own.So yesterday, we took a deep breath, put him in his crib, told him to lie down and go to sleep, and *gulp* shut the door behind us! (Well, technically we left it open a crack so we could sneak peeks at him).

Much to our amazement and infinite relief, he yelled with great fury and zeal for about 30 minutes and then collapsed to sleep in his crib. Phew! He did have more crying jags during the night, but he settled himself down within 5 minutes or so each time.

This morning I told the Spouse that Judah seemed kinda sad when he woke up. Spouse is afraid we "killed his spirit". Well, if by "spirit" Spouse means Judah's motivation to yell at the top of his lungs until he gets what he wants, I think I'm kinda okay with that.

Snow Today, Gone Tomorrow

2012-01-12T11:30:00.000-05:00

We were thrilled and delighted that it actually snowed while we were in Ohio.

At first the forecast said it would be too warm for snow, but luckily it was just cold enough to give us a light dusting. Judah was mesmerized and of course, totally perplexed by this white stuff.

If it didn't snow, all the snow gear I bought Judah JUST for this trip would've been all for nothing. Don't you hate how 'specialty' baby clothing is only a one-time deal? Like Halloween costumes, etc? Makes me sad that Judah's going to outgrow his adorable snow gear (look at this super cute ski-bib?!?!)--jacket, bib, shoes, gloves--before even next winter!

Judah enjoyed crunching on the snow but was scared to venture out on his own. He had to hold someone's hand the entire time. Maybe he got scared because he touched the snow early on (without gloves on) and howled from the painful cold sting.

Look how cute his little snow outfit is--matching right down to the boots!!!! I'm so sad he's not ever going to wear it again.

Sigh, at least we'll always have the pictures!

Oh yeah, and yay for family!

24-7 365

2012-01-10T16:32:00.002-05:00

This weekend I caught some awful flu bug and it sucked.

In the past, I actually didn't mind getting sick all that much. As a kid, it led to staying home from school and watching tv all day, which I totally loved. As an adult, it led to staying home home from work and watching tv all day--hey, why mess with what works?!

But as a mom of a little man, it totally sucks (when there's no one to help you out).

Forget passing out on the couch and recuperating with some netflix. There's a small person running around, needing to be picked up, fed, diapered, napped and generally entertained. And the cherry on top is you can't take regular cold meds if you're nursing (yep, still nursing! Trust me, not really my idea here).

There is no calling in 'sick' as a mom. There are no sick days for you to check out and not move a muscle while your head is pounding from congestion and your body is wracked with feverish aches. Being a mom/parent is a 24-7, 365 gig and it is exhausting!

Thankfully Spouse was there to help a bit, but he was also sick and had weekend work. Several times we looked at each other said an oft-repeated sentiment in this house--How in the world do single moms do it?!

Post Traumatic Shower Disorder

2012-01-09T15:30:00.000-05:00

Warning: What you are about to see may be extremely disturbing due to its graphic nature. Young children are advised to leave the room before scrolling down.

Since birth, Judah has been terrified by the shower. I have no idea why. Judging from the look on his face, you'd think he was being sprayed with acid and not comfortably warm water.

I would be annoyed, but one of my earliest memories is crying in the shower when I was around 2 years old myself. My dad would try to give me a shower and I'd be howling my head off for no apparent reason.

I guess it runs in the family! Judah buried his bawling head in my legs pretty much the entire time we gave him a shower in Ohio, gripping on to a toothbrush for dear life. Poor guy.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Ohio (and by funny, I mean, not funny)

2012-01-06T10:00:00.000-05:00

For months I've been dreading our upcoming 5 hour flight with Judah. I panned the interwebz for advice and bought enough new toys, snacks, and books to entertain a village of toddlers, which I planned to break out only during the flight.

Well, on the day of, Spouse and I congragulated ourselves on a smooth morning--packing 6 bags, cleaning out the fridge, arriving at the Oakland Airport a whole hour early for our mid-morning flight. Judah enjoyed riding the long-term parking shuttle bus.

We were all smiles until we began scanning the flight monitor, looking for our gate. After a few seconds, Spouse looks down at our boarding passes and says--Did you know these say SFO?

*silence*

Long pause...

What????

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*%&%$^%!!!!!

My stomach sank to my knees. I involuntarily let out a string of curses, thankful that Judah was still too young to repeat what mommy says! Honestly, this is what a hyper-active toddler can do to you. Prior to Judah, we've never showed up at the wrong airport. Now I'm always losing my keys, wallet, cell phone, train of thought...my mind in general.

Thankfully we were able to get on a red-eye flight that night. This time we way over-did it and arrived at SFO two hours early (you know, in case we went to the wrong airport again!) I suppose it was good for Judah to run around the airport and tire himself out.

Judah handled staying up 3 hours past his bedtime surprisingly well. He was all energy and smiles--waving 'hi' to literally every person he saw and running up and down the walkway escalators no less than 38 times. I call him my happy-drunk.

Our gate had a play structure for kids to climb on. Judah, delirious with sleepiness, probably thought he had died and gone to toddler heaven. He started hugging and shaking hands with all the other kids.

And then, minutes before we boarded, he finally had the much anticipated meltdown--screaming, wailing, the works. Thankfully we were able to nap him before we boarded and he basically slept the entire length of the flight, taking up the length of 2 seats.

So we didn't end up using the truckload of toys and snacks I bought for the occasion. The real lifesavers turned out to be (1) the ergo carrier which we used to nap him (thanks for that tip Mandi!) and (2) the extra plane ticket just for Judah (thanks Grandma and Neil for that much-needed extra room!)

Lobster An-duh The Crab

2012-01-05T10:00:00.000-05:00

It was so great to spend part of the holidays with Peg and Isaac (and their lovely fam).

I haven't seen Isaac for over 6 months and was amazed at how much he's grown. Now at nearly 24 months old he's potty-training (check out his underoos in this pic!) and talking like crazy.

He knows a ridiculous amount of vocab in English and Mandarin and delighted everyone at the dinner table by saying "Lobster and (this was split into 2 syllables--'an-duh') the crab" (which is what we were having that night). Gotta love how asians party it up for the holidays with all you can eat seafood!

Anyway, his little voice was so cute (and it was so funny how he stuck in that random definite article) that Michael and I haven't been able to stop repeating that phrase to each other at random times now. Yes, I guess you can say that little Isaac has definitely changed our lives forever, for the better.

First Flight

2011-12-29T15:03:00.001-05:00

Just a quick post to say we've made it to Ohio! After a harrowing day of travel, Judah survived his first plane ride without much pain. Actually, we missed our original flight because we went to the wrong airport! How stupid did we feel?!

But the silver-lining there was that we got on a red-eye flight and Judah was so exhausted he basically slept the whole way. So much for all the airplane toys I had prepared for him!

Michael and I, sadly, were not so fortunate. The red eye was painful for us with a capital "P". I got a total of zero minutes of sleep.

Here's a pic of Judah enjoy his first snow experience with his beloved auntie. Much more to come!

Good Tidings

2011-12-25T18:45:00.000-05:00

He has filled the hungry with good things

and the rich he has sent away empty.

The Spirit and the Bride say, "Come."

And let the one who hears say, "Come."

And let the one who is thirsty come;

Let the one who desires take the water of life without price.

TCB (Taking Care of Business)

2011-12-23T18:06:00.001-05:00

There won't be many posts here for a while during the hectic frenzy of the holidays.

Wish us luck as we attempt to take Judah on his first plane ride, over the hills and through the woods, all the way to grandma's house in Ohio!

Just Another Toddler in the Park

2011-12-22T08:30:00.000-05:00

I remember last year I often asked myself--I wonder what it will be like when Judah can actually play on the park equipment instead of just looking at it?

These pics really underscore for me how quickly babies grow.

Gone is the helpless baby of yesteryear. Here is the toddler of today.

And soon will be a fully functional man-child! So much happens in a year of the life of an early human.

Blondie

2011-12-20T09:30:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I get weird text pics of Judah while I'm at work. Fortunately, this series of photos had some text narration: Hey Mom--So...I think I'm in love!

Just met her at the park, and we blew some bubbles together.

We're going to Cabo next weekend.

She might just be the "One"! --Judah

Sigh. Kids these days!

Meal Deal: A Thanksgiving Miracle

2011-12-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

Like all parents of toddlers, we often had trouble getting Judah to try new foods. For a long time he refused to eat any meat whatsoever (and barely tolerated other forms of protein except for his beloved cheese).

So, needless to say, we were really worried, but also didn't want meals to turn into high-pressure situations that would create negative associations for Judah. What to do, what to do (other than blend everything together into a disgusting meat smoothie)?

Well, it turns out, Judah likes a good deal, like the son of a corporate deal lawyer should.

Michael discovered by accident one day (it happened to be Thanksgiving) that Judah understands very immediate trade-offs. Michael was trying to get Judah to eat a piece of turkey (for the 26th time), but Judah kept shouting for his "cheerios." He says "Oh! Oh!" to ask for his Trader Joe's O's.

So out of exasperation, Michael held out an "O" and said, "If you eat this turkey, I'll give you this "O." He didn't expect Judah to be able to process this information, but repeated the deal a couple times and then held out the turkey to Judah--who opened his mouth and accepted it! Unbelievable! It never ceases to amaze me how babies understand so much more than we think they're capable of.

Then Michael gave him the "O" and once again negotiated with Judah over turkey. This went on for a few more rounds until Judah realized, hey, turkey is delicious!

Pretty soon he was just eating the turkey without any trade-offs. We've since used other trade-offs (cheese, grapes, strawberries) to get Judah to try chicken, ham, beef, and other foods he used to flat-out reject. (Here I'm offering him some Kale in exchange for a pomegranate seed--ah this brings back not-so-fond memories of law school in which contracts were made using a peppercorn for "consideration").

Anyway, the "Meal Deal Method" works about 90% of the time and Judah now has a much broader range of foods to eat. Maybe we should patent this amazing toddler feeding trick?! Well, too late, I already spilled the beans here. And yes, Judah now eats beans too!

Splendor in the Grass

2011-12-16T10:30:00.000-05:00

There is no better place for my active guy who loves to play with balls, than a huge grassy field.

Here Judah can run with abandon in all directions as far as his little legs can take him.

And I don't have to constantly hover over him and shout "No touch! Be careful! Watch that step! Don't run into the street!"

And bonus, he's exhausted in the end and happily sits back in his carseat for the ride home...and eventually sleeps "like a baby" (which all parents know is a stupid simile since babies are horrible sleepers).

Check it!

2011-12-14T09:30:00.000-05:00

What's that I'm sportin' on my back you ask?

Why, it's my pikachu backpack, of course!

I'm fobby and ready for pre-school!

Huggies

2011-12-13T10:30:00.000-05:00

Judah's turning out to be quite the hugger.

He still gets upset when I hold his cousin, but he nevertheless likes to give Manfred impromptu hugs without being asked!

Other self-initiated hugging events include hugging our next door neighbor's 1 year old girl and hugging me after he slaps my face around, as if to say "Sorry mom!" Sigh, we're still working on his "gentle" touch.

Hold my hand and walk...

2011-12-09T14:30:00.000-05:00

...where I lead. But in this household, it's Judah saying that to us. There's no point in trying to lead him anywhere. He sticks out his hand and commands us where he wants us to go.

But it's still awfully sweet to hold his little hand anyway.

Judah-cise

2011-12-08T11:30:00.000-05:00

Everyone together now, one-two, one-two...

Judah loves the 1lb weights at Sports Authority!

Too Sexy For My Onesie

2011-12-08T11:00:00.000-05:00

Hey there little lady, shhhh, I know just what you're thinking...

...how can a 16 month-old look this greasy!? Apparently, all it takes is an unbuttoned shirt and low-rise jeans!

Dandy!

2011-12-06T09:00:00.000-05:00

Judah has recently discovered the joy of flowers and dandelions in particular. We once spent a whole afternoon picking them and blowing them (which Judah didn't understand because he kept trying to eat them. Gross).

That same day we read a nature book and he saw a picture of a dandelion in it. I said "Dandy!" and he pointed to the front door gesturing wildly to say that he wanted to go out and pick a dandelion.

I'll tell you, there's nothing sweeter than seeing your little baby holding a flower.

Ready For Take-off

2011-12-05T09:30:00.000-05:00

Judah gets to dress up as a space-baby at his activity center. He also loves being in 'mission control' because he hasn't yet met a button he didn't desperately want to push (both figuratively and literally).

Speaking of pushing buttons, we are going through yet another miserable round of sleep-training. It seems Judah is no longer content to fall asleep in our arms and then quietly transferred to his crib.

Now, he is so alert and sensitive, that any attempt to lower him into his crib causes him to startle, wake up, and wail like a banshee--as if to say, how dare you put me down!!!! So now we are doing what all the books say we should've been doing since the beginning--putting him down in his crib with his little eyes open.

Judah absolutely hates this and will cry like his body is being set on fire for a good 20-30 minutes. It absolutely kills me because he says "Maaaa-maaaa!" as he cries.

It's also caused him to be very apprehensive anytime I take him into his room. The books call this "crib fear" as he now associates his crib with wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Oh the misery of sleep-training.

Comfy Cozy

2011-12-02T10:00:00.000-05:00

The days have been getting colder and my baby has been getting older!

Since when did my baby wear house slippers and sit in his favorite chair to peruse a book by himself?! Everyday brings him one step closer to being a little man. Before you know it, he'll be wearing an old man robe and flipping through the newspaper!

Waaaah!

2011-12-01T11:00:00.000-05:00

From looking at this blog, most people get the idea that Judah is a generally happy guy--and he is for the most part.

But because I'm all about shattering illusions and presenting a somewhat more balanced view of reality--here are pics of Judah crying HARD.

He usually does this right after he wakes up from a nap (if I'm not there to nurse him). Michael took these pics, hoping that the novelty of the camera would distract Judah from his crying jag. Obviously that didn't work!

Meet Our New Laundry Lady

2011-11-29T12:29:00.001-05:00

Who says 1 year olds can't help around the house? This one likes to mimic everything we do...including the laundry. Check it out:

Doing Laundry from El Bebo on Vimeo.

Ironically, by the time he's 12, he'll probably lose all ability to lift a finger when it comes to laundry and other chores...and then miraculously find that ability again when we incentivize him with an allowance.

Sports Guy

2011-11-28T10:30:00.000-05:00

When it's cold and rainy outside and I don't feel like going to Target for the 102nd time in a week, I take Judah to our local Sports Authority. It's usually completely empty and Judah is quite the sports guy. Got to hydrate before the big workout.

There's actually quite a lot for him to do there, not least of which is to try out his best impression of Stevie Wonder.

I was really happy to see Judah tiring himself out lugging this heavy bball around. This is probably the equivalent of a 25lb medicine ball for adults!

Here Judah works on sculpting his triceps. Gotta lose that baby fat by bathing suit season!

Unfortunately I didn't snap a pic of the best thing in the store--a little put-put station where Judah is obsessed with swinging a golf club around. He literally stands there for 30 minutes with a death-grip on the club. Prying it out of his hands results in a code-red defcon 10 tantrum.

Big Boy

2011-11-25T22:00:00.000-05:00

Here is my little guy looking like a big guy. I'm amazed how these pics make Judah look like a 3 year old. Maybe it's the haircut...or the body-hugging shirt and "grown-up" clothes.

Incidentally, these pics show Judah doing his newest favorite activity--sitting! It's ironic that after struggling to stand for so long and finally mastering it after a lot of blood and tears, Judah has now turned his attention to something he knew how to do long ago.

It's funny watching him back up slowly like an old man and tentatively hover over the stoop before finally lowering his butt down. I guess it takes a lot of courage and confidence to lower one's butt.

Wanted: Mothers

2011-11-22T16:44:00.001-05:00

Everyone should have a Mom. Pity the fools who don't.

Moms are always there to encourage you. They celebrate every little thing you do, even if it's no big deal and everyone else can do it and you're actually a little slow in figuring out how to do it. In fact, each time you even attempt to do that thing--whatever it is that you can't do and everyone else can--they cheer you on and say "You can do it! Good try!"

And when you fail, Moms are always there to catch you, pick you up, scrape you off, hug the sting away. Set you up so you can try again. And fail again. And try yet again. Only to fail again. And then suggest we try something else!

Moms give you a roomful of toys and books and take you on outings to give you new experiences and broaden your perspective. If you show an interest in animals, they point them out wherever you go. If you like cars, they get you car books and puzzles and stickers and t-shirts. They delight in whatever you delight in and encourage you in the direction of your natural interests.

And when you're tired and hungry--as we all get from time to time--you can always turn to Mom to rock you to sleep, sing you a lullabye, get you a snack, fix you a meal, any time, every day. Nevermind that Mom is hungry and tired too. You'd never know it from the way she meets your every basic need--unless you are particularly observant while she scarfs down the bits of food you left on your tray.

And the kisses. The never ending pecks and smooches. The snuzzles and cuddles and hugs. They are like breathing and walking--so constant and ubiquitous you'd never notice until they were gone.

Sadly, some moms are not Moms. It's one thing to have a child. It's another thing entirely to be a Mom.

Would that everyone had at least one person
who always wanted to hear about your day,
who always dropped what they were doing when you need them most, and
who was immeasurably proud of you
for no good reason--which is the best reason of all.

Judah and Ry Ry

2011-11-22T09:30:00.000-05:00

Judah and his twinsie Ryan (just 3 days apart) are two peas in a pod. Here they are with their onesies still "unsnapped" because they hate lying on the floor for diaper changes. MUST. STAY. ACTIVE! Also, they've traded sippy cups because, as the saying goes, the water is always yummier in someone else's sippy cup.

They both love buttons, especially the ones on clock radios like the one in Ryan's room here. Incidentally, I hate how Judah always turns on the alarm function on his clock radio (without us knowing) and it goes off at midnight and wakes him up. Argh.

And they both get jealous of their mommies. This pic was taken seconds before Ryan got upset and tried to pry Judah off his mommy. We had just finished commenting on how Ryan was so good at sharing his toys. Toys, yes, mommy, no!

Good Morning Doraemon

2011-11-21T09:30:00.000-05:00

I love this fobby pj set Judah's grandpa got him from Korea. When we first received it 6 months ago, I thought it looked ridiculously big and he wouldn't fit in it until he was at least 3.

Ummm...Judah's barely 1 and already it's too tight. He barely wore this for 2 weeks before we had to retire it! At least we have a pic to memorialize it forever.

Judah's Newest Obssession

2011-11-18T10:00:00.000-05:00

Judah's new favorite activity is coloring. The first thing he wants to do when he gets downstairs is color.

He loves it so much, he once had a meltdown because I showed him a picture of a baby coloring in his board book but I wouldn't let him go downstairs to get his own crayons. It was right before bedtime and Judah would not stop wailing until I finally acquiesced and brought up a green crayon for him.

I make sure I never read that book to him right before bedtime anymore!

Onward!

2011-11-17T09:30:00.000-05:00

Judah is a very busy, pro-active, take-charge kind of guy. Hmmm...I wonder who he gets that from?

He knows what he wants (which is everything) and goes for it with abandon. So naturally we have a lot of pictures of him in his favorite pose. Usually this pose is accompanied by him shouting "Dat!" (translation: That!)

The only thing better than charging forward on the ground? Why, charging forward on the shoulders of a beast of burden!

As Judah's Korean great-grandma says of him--He's going to be general someday! (And judging from his hat, probably a marxist general).

Want to know what I REALLY do at work?

2011-11-15T13:21:00.001-05:00

I morbidly joked on FB that my job is like an abusive boyfriend--beating me up all the time but then giving me just enough compensation to make me reluctantly stay in this awful relationship.

I've been through some horrible projects, but this most recent one, the wounds fresh in my mind, has got to be up there in the top 3 horrible projects of all time.

This monstrosity began innocently enough, 6 months ago, as one giant 200 page contract that yours truly had to meticulously draft. Think about that. In and of itself, that's already pretty sad and onerous. Have you ever read the fine print on your credit card statement? Neither have I. But I read reams and reams of that same dry legalese everyday--200 pages worth for this particular beast.

But, that's not even the tip of the TIP of the iceberg of pain.

So after weeks of pain and a final push that involved 15 hour days, tons of weekend work, missing my little guy for a couple days--Contract #1 was signed and sealed.

And then the real pain began. Our lovely clients decided they wanted to do Contract #2, which would be the mirror-image of Contract #1. Like some corporate version of musical chairs, the parties switched roles and each assumed the other's position from the previous contract...but not quite. Some things were different. Actually, many things were different. So many, that the negotiations devolved into bickering that sounded exactly like this:

"But that's not how we did it in Contract #1."
"I know, but that's because Contract #1 is not exactly analogous to Contract #2"
"We want everything to be symmetrical!"
"But not everything should be. It's a slightly different deal."

Back and forth it went. I drafted another monster 200-page contract. And then I revised it. And then I revised it again. And again. And again. Until I think I've memorized every word on that horrible 200-page beast. Oh, but it was a joy to revise (note the sarcasm) because every time I revised it I had to check it against Contract #1 to make sure it was analogous where it was supposed to be, and not analogous where it wasn't supposed to be. I know even reading about my travails in a nutshell is boring and meticulous--but, wait, there's more goodies!

Enter--Contract #3! This one was supposed to be exactly like Contract #1, except with a different counter-party. And everything was supposed to be the same, except it was slightly different. Oh, those slight differences bring all the life to the party--oh those multitude of slight nuances that just make me want to stick a fork in my eye. Lovely.

So now, are you keeping track? There are 2 thorny and very confusingly similar deals going on--Contract #2 and Contract #3. How can this get any better you ask?

Why, the clients want to amend Contract #1! Joy oh joy! That horrible beast that started it all gets a second life. This deal was turning out to be like the many headed hydra of Hercules. You think you've killed it, but it rises again! So all the sweat, tears and pain was for nothing. We had to undertake to completely overhaul Contract #1...so in effect, it's like Contract #4.

Mind you, this is not done in a calm, friendly, office environment. This is all done under extreme time pressure. This is the kind of messages my boss sends me (subliminally and sometimes not so subliminally):

"Hurry, hurry, hurry!!!!!! But don't you dare have any mistakes in this draft! No missing commas, periods, mispelled words! Every section reference must be correct (there are literally more than 500 in each doc and they constantly shift around)! Every footer, header, pagination, index, appendix, exhibit must be perfect! Don't you dare misinterpret my very vague instructions about drafting this complex concept that I haven't had the time to explain to you! And every utterance of the client must be reflected in the draft--go back through your 47 client email chains over the span of 2 weeks and make sure everything gets correctly reflected in the draft!"

Of course I slack off where I can. Spending an extra hour with my sweet baby is so much more important to me than proofreading the document a 3rd time before it goes out. So I frequently get lovely emails from my boss that say things like: You missed this, you missed that, you didn't draft this correctly. This is weak. And the subject line to the emails are wonderful too. One of them simply said "Frustration" and the body said, "I'm getting really frustrated at you!"

You know things have gotten really bad when the boss regularly just assumes what you did was wrong, even though it's actually right. I've corrected her many times. But it just goes to show that she's lost all confidence in my work. My 200 page contracts are indeed riddled with wrong section references and mispelled words. These, by the way, are like cockroaches. For every one you see, there are probably 15 that you don't. My boss routinely catches about 3 in each of my drafts. And she assumes there are at least 20 that she doesn't know about.

Frankly, I find it annoying that I have to deal with stupid typographical nits when I'm also responsible for the heavy-duty substance of the draft. EXCUSE ME for not finding that missing comma. I was busy making sure the indemnity clause covers any clinical trials we do with x and y active pharmaceutical ingredients, instead of just x and z, but only during the period before we get marketing approval from the FDA and EMA for drug w and only with respect to losses arising from manufacturing defects in x. In other words, I have bigger fish to fry than worrying about your stupid commas!!!

Now, all the time pressure, aggravation, and headache would be fine and dandy if it occurred Monday through Friday during the hours of 9am to 5pm. I don't even mind the fact that I haven't eaten a proper lunch in 6 months. I will happily eat stupid balance bars at my desk every day for the rest of my life, if only I could keep the work contained between the hours of 9 to 5.

But of course not. It goes on 24-7. I'm frequently not allowed to go to sleep unless my boss gives me permission. 9 out of 10 days I put the baby to sleep at 8:26pm and by 8:30 I am logged in and drafting up some odious provision about regulatory meetings. I turn off the computer at 10:30pm and try to sleep immediately, but of course, I can't. Baby wakes me up at 6:30am. I go to work. Rinse and repeat.

And believe or not, those are the good days.

The bad days are when I am stuck in the office and only see my baby for 30 minutes. I work until midnight and wake up at 5:30am for a conference call.

Right before a signing deadline, there are MANY bad days. Mentally, it should be okay because you tell yourself--the darker the night, the nearer the dawn. I will give it all I've got for this one final push and this horrible weight will be lifted from my shoulder once and for all. It's just like giving birth to a baby--the worst pain of your life, but a great reward at the end.

But that was not to be with Contract #2 and amending Contract #1.

There was deadline #1--GREAT PUSH, HORRIBLE HOURS, WORK 15 HOUR DAYS FOR A WEEK--oh crap, 1 hour before the deadline we realize we're not going to be able to make the deadline. Extend the deadline.

Deadline #2--GREAT PUSH, HORRIBLE HOURS, POOP ON MY WEEK AND ENTIRE WEEKEND--oh crap, 2 hours before the deadline we realize we're not going to be able to make it. Extended.

Deadline #3--GREAT PUSH...you get the idea. Extension! Lovely!

Deadline #4--didn't make it either. Oops.

Deadline #5!!!! This is the real one guys! Really? Pardon me if I'm a leeeetle bit skeptical.

But no. Deadline #5 was the real one. After 6 months of awful awful awfulness these horrible suite of contracts have finally been put to bed. The contracts are dated November 15, 2011 and signatures are being exchanged as I type this very sentence.

I'm am foggy brained and bleary eyed from waking up at 5:30am for a conference call. But I had to write this all down so I never forget the epic grossness of this horrible horrible project.

By the way, in case you're wondering what profession to steer your children away from, I'm a corporate lawyer.

Charlie!

2011-11-09T10:00:00.000-05:00

Judah frequently sees this dog named Charlie around our complex.

Charlie! There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!

Charlie always runs away from Judah (smart dog) but recently has given up and let Judah pet him a little.

Oh my! You're going to let me touch you for the first time ever?!

Don't they look like the best of friends? Aaawwwwww.

Today I've decided to pat you nicely instead of poking you in the eye, like usual.

Hey, I'm Wearing Orange, What Do You Want From Me

2011-11-08T13:17:00.001-05:00

You can always tell when my life has completely imploded by the lack of new blog entries here. The past 4 weeks have been an ever-building work disaster culminating in last week's hurricane of despair and fury.

Of course, when work gets crazy, my body also likes to get in on the fun and go crazy too...so of course it chose exactly that moment to break down in a way that I haven't experienced in years--diarrhea!

Yes, sorry for bringing such a gross word to your attention, but that's the disgusting cherry that topped my sundae of work/life hell. (Okay, the imagery there was also very inconsiderate, again, sorry). But truly there's nothing better than working 15 hour days, stressed out of my mind, while being dehydrated and dizzy and painfully bloated.

And add to that mix the aching feeling of missing my little man--oh how I missed that guy while I slaved away.

Judah is at such a cute and fun stage now. He's aware of everything and soaking it all in like a sponge. He understands language completely and truly interacts with people now. I used to be quite happy to leave him while I went off to work when he was a 'know-nothing' baby. But now it makes me truly sad to miss out on time with him because it's so much more meaningful and relational.

Nevertheless, we did do at least one fun thing during my hell-week--trick or treating!

Trick-or-treat! I know you're in there!

The gated complex we live in had quite a few little kids, including our lovely neighbors and their little ballerina so we all went around and knocked on a few doors.

Yes, I'm that poor kid whose parents didn't get him a real costume.

Judah is obsessed with Mackenzie's teapot and teacup, which makes an awesome water pouring noise when you tip it over. You can see his death-grip on it here. And you can also see Mackenzie wondering--why is this kid so obsessed with my teapot?

Judah is a geisha in training.

Judah ended up with lots of candy, which of course we'll never give him to eat. One day, when he does finally taste candy for the first time, at age 8, his mind will be blown.

Hello Mr. Jack-o-lantern, I don't believe we've met before.

Fall is Here

2011-10-24T12:16:00.001-05:00

Time for pumpkins and other autumnal things. Judah was intrigued by these large gourds and alternately tried to pick them up and sit on them. Judah's obessessed with "sitting" these days--he likes to find a chair-like surface and back into it ever so gingerly and sit. Ready for the potty soon perhaps...?

Judah loves this display at Habitot (baby activity center).

I once tried to pry a baby rake out of his hands and he howled like a wolf in a full moon.

There's a lot of that recently--howling and wailing--ahhh, gotta love toddlerdom.

Smooch!

2011-10-21T12:45:00.002-05:00

Here are some photos of you looking cute and delicious. I can't stop peppering your little chubby cheeks with pecks and smooches.

Must be annoying to have your cheeks pecked and smooched all day long. And then to have someone shout "Kisses!" in front of your face and plant big ol' wet ones on your lips.

One day, you will be big enough to run away and push my pursed lips aside. And eventually you will refuse to let me hug you in front of your friends, or otherwise. But until then, I'm torturing, uh, I mean, peppering you with kisses all day long! While you are still my baby.

Hi! My Name Is...

2011-10-20T12:26:00.001-05:00

Finally! After carrying this little guy for 10 months (yes, it's really 10, not 9), pushing him out a very small cavity, nursing and tending to him day and night for over a year, he has finally learned my "name"!

Sort of.

For the last 3 weeks or so, he's began to call me "mum, mum, mum" or "mem, mem!"

And always with his arms outstretched, clinging on for dear life, because he's going through a new strong phase of separation anxiety.

Leaving for work in the morning never gets any easier, only harder!

Chicks Dig My Ride

2011-10-18T12:12:00.000-05:00

Look who got his first set of wheels?

Judah couldn't wait to show it off to his next-door girlfriend and take her for a spint. Frankly he was much more excited about pushing the bike than sitting in it. Sigh, yet another expensive baby toy that Judah refuses to use the "right" way.

One of THOSE People

2011-10-17T13:08:00.002-05:00

BEFORE I had a baby, I used to look at other people's blogs and think--I'm never going to do that. I'm not going to be one of those people whose blog gets completely taken over with baby, baby, baby, all day, all night, only posts about the baby.

I'm going to continue to have my own separate identity! I'm not going to be one of those people who has their baby as their FB profile picture. After all, it's YOUR profile picture, not your kid's! This used to really annoy me. And speaking of which, this is my current FB profile pic:

So yes, I realize the proper response to my previous notions is--HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Clearly I had no idea, no real inkling, no shimmer of insight into how motherhood would change me. I have transferred all of my narcissism and self-absorption from ME to WE, or maybe more accurately, just HE--as anyone who visits this blog regularly has already quite easily surmised.

But really, how can I not fall in love with this big toothy smile and twinkling little eyes?

How We Roll

2011-10-17T09:30:00.000-05:00

Every chance he gets, Judah likes to sit on a vehicle with wheels.

I think it's time to buy him his first tricycle!

Nothing quite says you're baby is all grown up, like getting him his first little trike. Sniff, sniff, I miss my baby.

Hamster Wheel for Tots

2011-10-11T10:30:00.000-05:00

Now that you're such a good walker, we go to a nearby tots park all the time. It's a great way to burn your energy and make you good and ready for bedtime.

We've met so many little people and their parents there too. Mostly it's just dads who are giving the poor mommies a well-deserved break from the kiddos.

A Zizzer Zazzer Zuzz

2011-10-09T22:41:00.000-05:00

You love reading books right before bedtime. I say, "Do you want to read some books?" And you say "Uhhhh!" and point toward your stack on the counter.

Right now you're really into Dr. Seuss' ABC Book. You like to try out the sound of the letter 'b' and 't'. When I say, "Baby barber bubble bumble-bee" you say "buh buh buh".

You love the ending when I say "Zizzer......zazzer.....zuzzzzzzzzzz!" and tickle your tummy. Dr. Seuss was a genius.

MY MOMMYYYYYY!

2011-10-07T11:00:00.000-05:00

Judah's become a little possessive of me lately. He was really upset when I held my nephew and kept pulling on Manfred's shirt to pry him away.

Manfred was understandably upset by this giant baby bully, pulling and prodding him.

But even when Michael gets near me, Judah gets very upset and needs to re-assert his supremacy by pawing at my shirt and demanding to nurse. I've created a monster!

Target Monster

2011-10-06T10:30:00.000-05:00

Attention all Target shoppers! A Target monster has been spotted on the loose in Aisle 4, 6, 2, 17, basically everywhere. It sounds like this "Aaaaaaaaah!" (That's the noise Judah makes when he's feeling good.)

Ever since a new Target opened up literally 2 min from our home, we've been quite frequent shoppers. Judah likes to push the carts (really dirty and gross) and pull things off the aisles--sorry workers, we do try to put them back!

Many of the cashiers already recognize him now--O, it's that baby again.

Look Who's Walking Now!

2011-10-04T12:00:00.000-05:00

You started walking right before your first birthday, but it was so gradual I can't really say when it began. When we took these pictures a few weeks back, it was the first time we felt like you definitely found your feet and were exalting in your newfound freedom.

Since you never learned to crawl, but were always insatiably curious, you were hyper-motivated to learn to walk. The period right before you found your legs was pretty torturous for me and your dad. Our backs broke holding your little hands so you could cruise around and we felt so bad everytime you bled all over yourself from falling during brief moments of letting go.

I'll always see this period as one giant metaphor for child-rearing--a balance of freedom and restraint, protection and exposure, blood, guts, tears, and finally...independence!

To borrow a phrase from one of your favorite books--O the places you'll go!

Pelota!

2011-10-03T09:50:00.000-05:00

Shhhh, I'm not supposed to be blogging now as I'm under the gun to get something out to the clients. BUT, how I could resist posting a pic of you doing something you love so much.

Every time you see a ball, you MUST have it. It doesn't matter if it's a giant exercise ball, a baby-sized ball, or something you saw for the first time this weekend, a football. We must have at least 10 different ones we bought for you in the house. I have a deathly fear of tripping over one while I'm holding you and plummeting to your doom.

Besos

2011-09-28T11:53:00.000-05:00

I've been so snowed under with work lately. But just wanted to say, Little Man, I love you so!

My baby has turned into a walking, babbling, little boy who now knows where his pieds, ojos, manos, cabeza, toes, cheeks, tongue, teeth, nose, and ears are. And you say "nah, nah, nah" when I get to the part about "no, I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam-I-Am!"

Judah Fact #002: You are Innately Compassionate

2011-09-20T11:49:00.002-05:00

Ever since you were about 5 months old I knew you were a compassionate soul. You loved your soothie pacifier more than anything else in the world (except the real boob) and your eyes would light up everytime you spotted it.

One day you were happily sucking on your soothie when your dad pointed to his mouth and said, "stick it in daddy's mouth" and you did it with a smile. What sharing, what compassion, what generosity.

You've long ago abandoned your soothie (on your own thankfully, no pacifier wars in this house) and now you have a new love--food. Your favorite dish now is butter-rice with a dash of soy sauce and sesame oil. You and your dad were gulping it down like ravenous wolves yesterday while I stood nearby washing dishes.

All of a sudden I saw a little hand extending a spoonful of butter-rice toward me, gesturing for me to eat it. Awww, just melted my heart, my sweet, compassionate, generous little guy.

It's amazing how you are just tempermentally like this. There's no way we could possibly teach you, at this young age, to care about other people and want to share good things with them for no reason other than the joy of sharing. In this way you are just like your dad.

Of course, it's probably the case that you are just in a phase in which it's fun to share. In a few months, like all toddlers, you'll probably be snatching all your stuff and shouting "Mine! Mine!" But for now, you are awfully sweet.

Doctor Checkup

2011-09-19T09:30:00.000-05:00

Recently we had your 12 month check up and I don't really remember your stats. I was never a "numbers" person and you've always been well within the range of healthy so I just don't care that much now. But you sure looked cute getting measured!

You are something like 23 pounds and 30 some inches with a head circumference of 41 (?). Totally not sure about that last figure. But that basically puts you at 50th percentile of height and weight and 95th percentile in head size! This is quite the reversal of fortunes--you used to be 95th percentile in height/weight with a pin-sized 50th percentile head.

Here's you toddling around, waiting for the doctor to show up, which took freaking forever! Seriously, it took more than 30 min for her to show up. You were extremely patient to be in this tiny room for so long. I decided to give you diaper-off time to help with a butt rash, not really caring if you peed all over the place--that's my passive aggressiveness showing.

During the appointment the doctor said you were such a happy, bubbly guy. It's true, you only have 2 modes--Mr. ADHD Sunshine, and WAAAAAAAH! Where's the happy medium?

Nah!

2011-09-15T13:59:00.003-05:00

Judah can say very few words. In fact, I think he only really says "Da da, or Daddy." Although his nanny insists he can say "Vamanos!" which really sounds like "nanano."

But other than that, he has clearly learned another word and says it all the time: "No!" which sounds like "Nah!"

This makes me a little sad because it probably means he hears that word the most--No Judah! Don't eat that! Don't touch that! Don't go there! Stop doing that! Sigh, I'm afraid this next period of his life is going to be a bit too negative.

Retreat

2011-09-15T11:00:00.001-05:00

A few weeks back, Judah was reunited with his beloved auntie who went with us on a wekeend retreat up to the mountains. Judah had a little trouble going to sleep in a new environment, but his auntie still had the magic touch and bounced him to sleep in her arms every day.

These pics kind of freak me out cuz Judah looks 95% like his dad's baby pics, which I need to post up one day so every one else can be as freaked out as I am by this trick of nature we call genetics.

We Found Mary Poppins!

2011-09-12T09:30:00.000-05:00

We have been so very blessed to find the kindest, most loving nanny for Judah. She plays with him and gives him her full attention all day, every day. She is a tremendous answer to prayer and makes me feel 100% worry free when I leave my baby every day to go to work.

Often times she'll buy him toys and things that he needs, like snacks and a little bucket hat. She trains him to sit still when putting on his shoes and to lift his little arms up so she can pull his shirt over his head. She reads him book after book after book and teaches him lots of words in Spanish. And she takes him on a big outing every day, to the park, to the store, to Barnes and Noble, to Petco, etc.

Once she took Judah to B&N and our friend just happened to be there too. Our friend recognized Judah and watched the way our nanny interacted with him. She said it almost moved her to tears--Judah's nanny was so attentive and loving. What an amazing confirmation! I highly recommend having a friend "spy" on your nanny because there are so many who just talk on their cell phones all day and completely ignore your kid. I've seen them all over town!

But, judging from this text picture Judah's nanny sent me one day it's clear she has one glaring limitation...

She's obviously colorblind!

Redneck Baby

2011-09-10T11:00:00.000-05:00

Um, can someone explain why my baby looks like him and his cousin Billy Joe Bob just went skeet shootin' on the back of Cletus' pick up truck before headin' back to the park, as in trailer park?

Evolutionary Triumph

2011-09-08T09:50:00.000-05:00

It's incredible how Michael's genes have successfully replicated themselves and ensured their place in the next generation. Judah is his spitting image, especially when they wear the same color palette!

Sweet Robbie

2011-09-08T09:30:00.000-05:00

Recently we had a playdate with our dear friends and met their newest addition--little Robbie!

Robbie is just a couple months older than Judah so they were doing a lot of the same things. However, Robbie was a LOT sweeter, more mellow, and more easy-going--but that's true of 99% of babies as compared to Judah.

I couldn't believe how articulate and imaginative Robbies' older brother was. At just 3 years of age he was making up work associates, giving them hilarious names, and talking about his office in SF. I can't wait for Judah to be an early human and make up stories too!

Zzzzzzz

2011-09-04T09:35:00.001-05:00

Happy labor day from someone who's never labored a day in his life!

These are rare photos of Judah sleeping. I'm usually too scared that he might wake up, but these were taken by his auntie right before she woke him up on purpose so his nap wouldn't be too long.

Got to Start Them Young

2011-09-02T11:01:00.001-05:00

Judah's nanny got him this toy for his first birthday since he loves it when she vacuums so much.

I like to fantasize about the day when Judah can really vacuum, and do the dishes, and cook, and massage me, and...

Ouch!

2011-09-02T11:00:00.000-05:00

Judah got a lot of black eyes trying to learn how to walk. He fell a lot and hadn't learned how to put his hands out to break his falls.

This was a particularly brutal fall into a sharp jutting corner. Just breaks my heart to see my baby all cut up. This pic doesn't do it justice.

Judah Rocks the Block

2011-09-01T23:04:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago we went to our neighborhood block party. Since we live in the ghetto, it was ghetto-fabulous with lots of hip-hop and graffiti everywhere. Judah had a lot of fun bopping to the beats.

There was a dog beauty contest so Judah had a ball petting all the contestants.

Judah loves dogs so much, I think it's inevitable that he's going to ask for one some day. This dog below was the gentlest, sweetest creature on God's green earth--would've made the perfect first pet!

Twinsies at 12 Months

2011-08-30T11:51:00.000-05:00

This pic was taken a few weeks back--here's Judah and his twinsie Ryan just a few days before both of them turned one.

I love their matching drool bibs, as they both were growing out their 2nd set of bottom teeth. They are such good buddies!

Just a note to say...

2011-08-27T13:27:00.002-05:00

Hey, I'm still here! Just been very busy with a retreat in the mountains and loads of crappy office work. But Judah is in fine form and walking up a storm.

Here he is flaunting his best feature, his butt.

And here's a baby abandoned by the side of the road by his poor tired parent.

Judah's Dog and Pony Show

2011-08-16T09:22:00.004-05:00

Here are some things you can do now:

--When we say "clap" you clap.

--When we say "fisssst!" you make fists and clench your face.

--When we say "monster face!" you make a low gutteral sound like "aaaaaaaah."

--When I say "milk" you do the sign for milk (open and close your hand).

--When I say "all done" you do the sign (shake your hands up and down).

--When we say "fuuuuuchila" (which means stinky in Spanish) you wave your hand up and down like you're fanning away a stinky smell. This is a diaper-time sign of course.

Just yesterday your nanny showed me new tricks she taught you!

--When she says "cuantos anos tiene?" you stick out 1 finger!

--When she says "no, no, no" you wave your finger "no, no, no."

Oh yeah, and I almost forgot, my favorite trick that you do...

--When I say "Judah, dame besos! (Give me kisses-in Spanish)" you face toward me and open your mouth, ready to kiss. But it takes awhile for you to finally do it cuz it's not your favorite trick.

One

2011-08-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Judah,

Today you turn one! Here are photos from each month of your life, one for each month. This time last year I was just starting labor and completely surprised when a little human was placed on my chest when it was all over.

Your dad and I felt so overwhelmed and under-qualified to take care of you those first few weeks, not least of all, because you were an extremely "alert" and "high-need" baby--barely sleeping, and hating to be put down.

The weeks and months rolled by so quickly, I didn't even notice how much and how quickly you were changing.

I did however notice how heavy you were. It seemed like my arms were always on the verge of falling off, my shoulders never stopped aching, and my carpal tunnel would never abate.

And the sleep deprivation. Oh the sleep deprivation. What torture!

As the months went on I often wondered at this new life I was living, this new reality, this new normal...

I don't know how I could have EVER thought that I was busy, before I had you. How could I even begin to know the meaning of the word, until I had you?

How could I ever know what "restrictions" were? What it meant to be tied down? What it meant to be in self-denial (in the good sense of the word)?

How could anyone know what "lack of freedom" means until you haven't slept more than 4 hours at a time for at least 9 months?!

And yet, I found I was experiencing every paradox in the book. Life with you was fast and slow. Fun and painful. Hard, and yet irresistible.

How could I ever have thought I knew what Joy was, until I had you?

How could I ever have thought I understood anything of Love or Care or Devotion?

Before you, only certain days felt special--vacations, holidays, birthdays. But with you, every night feels like the night before Christmas.

And every day, an incredible Gift.

Playdate at Park

2011-08-12T07:30:00.002-05:00

Recently we went to the park with your buddy Jackson (same age as you). We haven't seen him in a while so I was surprised at how much of a Buddha-belly he developed. His parents say he's only grown in the middle, not taller!

I finally found a baby fatter than you!

I made you try on Jackson's Cal hat to see if you would accept it. You hate when I put your sun hat on you so I thought you might like a cap. But no, you threw it off after I snapped a picture.

I introduced you to the slide for the first time. First you went down backwards by yourself...

...fun!

And then with mommy...

...not as fun. But I enjoyed it!

The Ballad of Judesco

2011-08-11T10:00:00.000-05:00

We recently had a jam session with our church and you were the youngest member!

You love strumming the guitar strings while I hold down a minor chord and sing bandalero-style "Judah, the guitar-strumming baby...Judah!"

Judah Jail

2011-08-10T07:50:00.000-05:00

We put a foot-activated baby gate at the top of our stairs as Judah's obsessed with them now. He loves trying to go up and down, and the key word here is "trying". He is of course far away from actually being able to handle them.

Judah's figured out how it works and keeps stepping on the peddle to no effect.

Little Neighbors

2011-08-08T09:30:00.001-05:00

Last week we invited some neighborhood kids over to our house for a play date. You were happy to show off your toys (which finally got some attention as you never really play with them).

Here's you and your cute Vietnamese girlfriend who's 3 months older than you and always rocking a hip Halle Berry pixie cut. Everytime she sees you she likes to go right up and give you a kiss! Bold!

Here's you with your best friend next door who would not stop gorging on your snacks. You guys obviously share a love of food and a love of throwing them onto the white rug and crushing the crumbs into the fibers.

Note to self: Never buy a white rug for baby's play area. Duh.

Rolling Ghetto Style

2011-08-05T09:20:00.000-05:00

OF COURSE you love the stroller that cost us $24 at Target and HATE the stroller that cost us more than 10 times that amount.

Meanwhile mommy has to go around town pushing you in this ugly thing while judgmental people look on and think "That mom is so cheap!" I should make you wear a onesie that says "My other ride is a B.O.B. (I just hate being in it)!"

Kid in Play

2011-08-02T09:23:00.002-05:00

Once again we returned recently to your favorite store (okay, my favorite store) and you demonstrated your love for all things pushable.

You can't get enough of pushing things with wheels, even if they're clearly designed for young girls and their dolls.

I love how we can kill hours at this store since it's chock full of toys as far as the eyes can see. We're always finding something new for you to experiment with...like this xylophone. It has a nice light plastic hammer that you could swing by yourself, which you loved to do. I would have bought it but it was $36! I'm not paying $36 for a cheap toy that I could probably get for $10 in Chinatown.

But then again...the toys from Chinatown probably have lead paint in them...okay, maybe we'll go back and get you that toy.

Costume De Rigueur

2011-08-01T11:30:00.001-05:00

Apparently there's a uniform for the men in this house...

...right down to the grey-tipped Hane's brand socks!

I do Myself!

2011-08-01T10:21:00.000-05:00

Judah now insists on feeding himself with his spoon, but his hand-eye coordination and muscle control is not so great.

We take a lot of baths after meals.

I Want Daddy!

2011-07-29T10:19:00.003-05:00

Recently you've been reaching for your dad to hold you and rejecting ME! What is going on?! Up is down! Black is white! Left is right!

Honestly I couldn't be happier. I gladly unburden myself of your watermelon-weight and love that your dad now has to do more of the heavy-lifting around this house!

The Great Judini

2011-07-25T13:00:00.001-05:00

Lately you've become the fearless, flying Great Judini.

When we beckon you toward us you let go and hurtle headlong in our direction, giggling all the way.

Sometimes you fall forwards. Sometimes you fall backwards.

And sometimes you fall flat on your face cuz we didn't catch you in time. Poor baby. Surely it won't be long now before you start walking around all on your own. I must say that will be a great day for me and my aching arms and shoulders!

Your First Words

2011-07-19T23:18:00.005-05:00

Many parents recount their baby's first word with great certainty, but I doubt that is most parents' experience. In your case, I'm pretty sure you say a few things deliberately, but then again, you're not totally consistent.

You started babbling really young and I'm not sure if or when you've said your first word. But I do know that 3 words seem really special to you.

The first one is "da-da", which I first heard you declare while pointing right at your dad and smiling. This is probably your first word since you did it around 7 months.

The second one is "hi", which sounds more like "aieee" cuz you leave out the "h" sound. You say this while waving your hand and smiling at someone, often strangers at the grocery store. You also did this around 7 months.

Recently, you started saying "that", which first came out with a very aspirated ending, more like "dathththth", but now sounds more like "dat". You say this while pointing at all kinds of random things (that's right, you point now, no more wristing!)

My question is--when are you going to say ma-ma?!

The Cuz

2011-07-19T23:03:00.006-05:00

Last week we went to visit your newborn cousin, your first and only so far--Manfred.

I marveled at how small and light he was, being only 4 weeks old.

You didn't seem too interested in Manfred, but you were plenty jealous when I kept holding him. You kept pawing at my shirt to nurse non-stop.

Here's you with Manfred's parents. Bet they can't imagine how Manfred will be as big as you one day, and that it will all happen in a blink of an eye.

Sqeeeeeeeeeeeze

2011-07-18T09:30:00.000-05:00

I made you squeeze into this 9 month outfit (you currently wear 12-18 month sizes) because you look so darn cute in it! (Actually, your nanny dressed you in this and I did nothing to stop her).

I'm such a sucker for baby overalls--cutest apparel item ever!

Board Books are for Babies

2011-07-13T07:44:00.001-05:00

Now that Judah's almost 1, he's grown tired of his board books. The only books that seem to capture his interest now are Dr. Seuss.

I thought I didn't have to deal with green eggs and ham for at least a couple years, but nope. It's all Seuss all the time now! I've practically memorized Hop on Pop.

Nature Boy

2011-07-12T13:00:00.000-05:00

Recently we took you to our favorite hiking spot. We used to hike here every week before you were born, but had to stop after you came along since you refuse to sit in your stroller.

We thought you might accept your stroller now that you're much older, but we were wrong! Not only do you not sit still, you now have the annoying habit of crying until we let you PUSH the stroller. Of course, this is all kinds of pointless and counter-productive.

Nevertheless you (and your exploding hair) got to enjoy some fresh air.

You skillfully and carefully walked around a tree trunk--no easy feat considering all the gnarly roots in the way. Good job baby!

Just a sec' Mom...

2011-07-10T20:30:00.002-05:00

...you can change my diapers in a minute. I just have to send out this one email first...

Seeing Judah chew on my blackberry makes me feel bad for several reasons.

(1) It reminds me of work.
(2) The only reason he's obsessed with it is because he sees me on it all the time.
(3) I know I shouldn't let him chew it because it has toxic electronic particles, but I'm too tired to 'fight' with him. Honestly, anything that buys me 30 seconds of peace--I'm going to do it.

Nap Buddy

2011-07-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

You love napping on your favorite sitter, Mur. The two of you snuggling together is the cutest sight!

Ordinarily I would be concerned that you'd get used this napping style, but I read somewhere that babies expect different napping methods from different people. So as long as you don't expect me to nap with you all the time, it's fine by me!

The Happiest Place on Earth (for Moms)

2011-07-07T22:45:00.005-05:00

Recently we chanced upon a store called Rockridge Kids and it was like stumbling into a new-mom Disneyland of delight. They sold every single cool, hipster, innovative, hard-to-find, BPA-free, but very expensive baby gadget I've ever known or imagined.

They also had a ton of fun toys which kept you entertained for quite a while. Here's you and the giant bear. You were obsessed with poking the bear's eyes.

You loved the train table. I'm afraid Thomas the Train is going to be a requisite part of your future. So much for college--Thomas and his pricey friends are going to bankrupt us!

And they even had a little shopping cart so you can practice being a future homeless bum, just like the ones that walk down our street everyday.

(Aside: Mandi--if you're reading this, I totally thought of you as I walked along all the cute shops at Rockridge and ooh-ed and aah-ed at all their vintage and handcrafted boutiques. It reminded me of the Paisley Tulip ;-) If you ever come visit, we need to go here! I can't believe I've lived in the East Bay for 2 decades and only just now discovered this gem!)

Born on the 4th of July

2011-07-04T21:45:00.005-05:00

Okay, that title has no relevance here, but it just has a better ring to it than "naked on the 4th of July".

These last few days have been hotter than heck so you've been dressing down accordingly.

Recently you've been really protesting your bedtimes and consequently pushing them later and later. I used to be able to nurse you to a nice sleepy state, but now nursing does nothing to make your lids close. Instead, we've been resorting to having you scream in your crib for 10-15 min each night until you finally tire yourself out. And while you scream you get so worked up your hair is dripping with sweat. It's so hard listening to you scream and wail bloody murder, poor baby.

Self Play!

2011-06-29T12:03:00.003-05:00

Some new baby developments make parents' lives harder, but some of them make them easier, or at least sweeter.

Recently, you've started to play on your own! You'll sit in front of your box of toys and take them out one by one. You don't even mind if I'm eating a sandwich next to you (which would previously cause you to yelp in anger until I share some of it with you).

And also last week, I saw you hugging your stuffed animal for the first time ever! You cuddled with your little lion stuffie (pictured here) for a good 5 minutes. Awwwwww.

Of this I know

2011-06-28T11:52:00.005-05:00

There is the way that things should be, and then there's the way that things are.

Many days I feel the gravity of knowing that things, many things, seemingly all things, are broken beyond repair, gnarled and twisted beyond straightening, and gone with the wind.

I can almost feel all of creation groaning along with the wheezing in my own chest.

The senseless destruction goes as far as my eyes can see, to the ends of the earth, and begins in the seed of my own heart--my own self. I can not part the foolishness from the fool.

Of things that are true, I know very little. But of this I know...substitution, exchange, imputation, clothing, covering, hiddeness, redemption, grace, and hope.

Baby Love

2011-06-27T15:14:00.005-05:00

Hi buddy! Mommy's at work now but I miss you so much. This last week has been so brutal because I worked almost non-stop all week. Instead of my usual 60% schedule, I've been working at more than full-time. I barely spent any time with you and I can feel my Judah-stores have depleted. I should be concentrating on the monstrous pile of work I have ahead of me, but I just keep thinking about how much I want to smooch your chubby cheeks.

I wonder if you miss me as much as I miss you. I really hope that's not the case because then you'd be in a world of pining. I hope you're happily oblivious to my absence and having a grand ol' time without me.

Another working mom once told me that leaving your baby to go to work is like that crazy feeling at the beginning stages of falling in love where you can't stop thinking about the other person and can't wait to see them again.

She is exactly right.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

2011-06-27T12:04:00.002-05:00

You got this electronic dog from your dad's dad and you are totally obsessed with it. Everytime you see it, you point and scream until I bring him near you and activate him. The other day I even caught you trying to give him your beloved pacifier as if the dog were a real person!

Me and your dad aren't thrilled because the music it plays is kind of annoying. But at least it's entertaining to watch you shake your bootie to it.

Dancing Dog from El Bebo on Vimeo.

You sure know how to shake your money-maker. Maybe one day you can teach me and your dad those smooth moves.

And then there were 3...

2011-06-22T07:44:00.001-05:00

Our church plant started last year with zero babies, and then you came! There was no need for a real nursery since you would just sleep on Mur during the service.

But then Alexa came and sweet little Keira a few months later, so we now have a real legit nursery! Aren't you a lucky guy, surrounded by lovely ladies!

Alexa loves to grab your snacks (here she's got your bread), and feed you.

Although, in this pic, it looks like she's decided to just keep your snack to herself! Funny girl.

I just love holding Keira--she's light as a feather compared to your chunky self, and I've never heard her fuss once.

I warn Keira's mom that I'm going to secretly switch our babies one day. She'll look down in her infant carrier one day and discover, to her horror, that you're in it! But of course, we all know that would never happen. You could NEVER sit quietly in an infant carrier!