Obama Drama

I'm like a second-hand smoker.

If political punditry is a fire and those who consume it, like Michael, are first-hand smokers, then I am a happy second. I don't care enough to actually watch the You-Tube clips and the broadcast debates, but I love hearing about the general shape of things filtered down from Michael and the occasional Shields and Brooks.

And just when I thought things couldn't get more exciting in one of the most exciting primary seasons since...before I was born, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright sure proved me wrong! Talk about adding fuel to the fire.

In all the rhetoric and soundbites, the whole thing strikes me as more than a little tragic. Truly sad. How did a pastor who shepharded his congregant for so many years become a true thorn in his side?

We've all heard about how Obama's pastor was by his side during major life events: marriage, baptisms, and blessing the inauguration of his presidential bid--but that does not begin to describe the depth of relationship there must have been between Obama and Rev. Wright. Their interaction was not just formal, but substantive.

Obama became a Christian in 1988 after listening to, what must have been a very moving sermon by Wright, entitled "The Audacity to Hope." And the rest, as they say, is history.

Obama entitled his attention-grabbing 2004 DNC speech, The Audacity of Hope, and his subsequent eponymous book, and continues to brand himself as the pope of hope on the campaign trail.

So what the heck happened?

How did a man whose sermons inspired a movement (Obama toted the Rev. Wrights tapes to law school too) become the proverbial embarassing drunk uncle at the wedding reception?

I guess the easy way out is just to say that the Rev. Wright had some great inspirational messages and some kooky conspiracy theories. Obama loved one and not the other.

Indeed, none of this drama would've happened really if a Hillary supporter didn't goad the Rev. Wright into taking to the media circuit and "vindicating" himself from Obama's first light reproach.

Now see, that's the real lesson in all this. Hillary is scary. You don't wanna mess with her. Oh yeah, you know that when she plays, she plays to win.

The Other Meat Market

Ever wonder how much a big toe is worth?


Well, according to the US Chamber of Commerce, in California in 2006, a big toe will get you $3,960 in workers' compensation. Your other 4 toes combined will only fetch $660.

This somewhat dehumanizing practice of quantifying the value of body parts is listed on scheduled benefit charts, referred to by an even more dehumanizing name--"meat charts."

Here are some other California values:

Hand: $75,515
Thumb: $21,010
Arm at Shoulder: $142,898
Leg at Hip: $61,435
One Eye: $17,714
One Ear: $5,280
(One Ear in Idaho: $1.04!!!!)
Both Ears: $58,080

This would make for a very morbid MasterCard commercial, no?

Having a quiet desk job? Priceless.

Jesus in the World

I do not want to worship Jesus Christ,
the historical Jesus of Nazareth,
who by all acounts was crucified by the Romans.

I do not want to follow Jesus Christ,
because by all acounts,
frankly,
he was a loser.

He was a workaday tradesman,
poor, uneducated, and
lets not forget how it all ended.

A servant cannot be greater than his master,
so what would that make me?

Less than a loser,
which means,
my hopes, dreams, desires, ambitions,
my ego, self, identity, and status,
will be as they were for my Lord:

Dashed to pieces,
crucified,
abandoned,
mocked,
and ultimately unmanifest in the world.

But when Christ who is my life appears,
then (and only then and not before then)
will I appear with him also
in glory.

In this world, my friend says, there are winners and losers.
And my Lord was, by all accounts, a loser.

A Farewell to Briefs

Today I briefed my last case. Ever. For life.

I don't know how many countless cases I've briefed in the last 3 years, but it seemed like divine appointment that my last one should end with this quote:

"...the blood of the workman [is] a cost of production..."

-Birklid v. The Boeing Company (Wash. 1995)

An ominous foreshadowing of what is to come...?

Breakdown

The one downside of beautiful weather is the increased risk of injury from romping around outside (see previous post).

I suffered such an injury when I fumbled for a frisbee and twisted my ankle. At first I wasn't too concerned since I was still able to walk the mile back home without any problem.

But all of a sudden, 4 hours after the initial incident, this killer pain started to emanate from my ankle. It was a pain like you could not believe. Throbbing, intense, angry, unabating. Even when I didn't move it I wanted to pass out from the pain.


After lying around the couch with an ice bag for 2 hours I finally decided to go to the ER.

It was midnight by this time when Michael wheeled me in. What followed was the most infuriating experience I've ever had at a medical facility.


The doctor literally saw me for...oh, something like 2 minutes. He didn't even touch my ankle or foot. He gave a mere glance, said he doesn't see anything wrong with it and told me goodbye!

Goodbye?!!!!

Hell no! I've been literally shaking in pain for 4 hours and dragged myself down here in the middle of the night so you can just take a peak at it and then send me on my way?! What the hell?! I'm seriously writing this man up. This will be a mark on his license. I'm writing the AMA. His bedside manners are appalling!

I tried to reason with him...the pain...the horrible intense pain...surely there might be something wrong despite the lack of swelling...maybe it's a fracture on the inside...something that required an x-ray? Maybe he could at least give me some wrap bandages? Some vicodin for the pain?

He looked at me like I was some pain-medicine junkie and said there was nothing he could do for me. He did give me a pair of crutches though and an air splint after I wouldn't stopping nagging him.

And after further nagging he said he'd give me an x-ray referral so I could check it out later. Well, today I went to go get x-rays and found out that stupid doctor screwed me again. I was supposed to get an ankle x-ray but he had referred a foot x-ray for me instead! Idiot.


I had to play the bureaucratic medical game today...running between floors, waiting in various lines, filling out various forms...seeing face after face of sour medical receptionists, technicians, and nurses...

"I know the form says "foot" x-ray but he was treating me for an ankle fracture so I really need an "ankle" x-ray," is what I said.

But what I wanted to say was, "What the hell is so hard about moving your x-ray machine down one inch to capture my freaking ankle instead of just my foot?! You idiotic, pencil-pushing, bureaucratic numskull?! It was a stupid clerical error!!! Just look in your stupid computer and you can see HE TREATED ME FOR AN ANKLE FRACTURE!!!!"

On another note, why is everyone in the University Health Services profession pissed off? Everyone I saw gave me a withering look--like I was as welcome as an STD infection. Sheesh! Excuse me for living!

Anyway, after wasting countless hours and expended emotions, a nurse finally told me there were no visible fractures from my ankle x-rays. That's it.

She didn't sit down and ask me my symptoms, history, etc. She didn't even look at my ankle swathed in bandages! She didn't even show me my x-rays so who knows if she was telling me this just to finally get rid of me!

But I have it on her authority--nurse somebody, I don't even know her name--that my ankle should be fine in a few days.

Great.

At this point, I'm more concerned about the state of medical care in this country than about my ankle.

Bocce Face

Took advantage of another beautiful Spring day today and played with the bocce ball set Michael bought himself for his birthday.


I realize I make a wierd face when I'm throwing a bocce ball.


It's like a cross between concentration (see photo below) and constipation (see photo above).

Car Alarm Bird

This morning I woke up tired and grumpy.

It's the damn birds outside my window.

There's this one bird in particular. It makes a sound like a car alarm:

tdeeeeeew-tdeeeeeew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew
tdeeeeeew-tdeeeeeew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew
tdeeeeeew-tdeeeeeew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew
tdeeeeeew-tdeeeeeew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew
tdeeeeeew-tdeeeeeew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew-tdew

Every beat, on the beat.

This stupid bird starts skawking at sunrise and for a moment, my sleep-addled mind incorporated that god-forsaken noise into my dream.

I was back in my childhood home and this gigantic bird, the size of a small dog, was making that awful noise right in the backyard. I was sitting in the house, next to the double-sliding patio window doors and the bird was on the other side squawking.

But this bird was special looking. And by special I mean disgusting. It had the head of a parrot and a naked body, no feathers! Scared the bejesus out of me! I know where this image came from too.

I was watching the local news yesterday and they showed a brief picture of a dancing featherless bird. I nearly threw up when I saw it. Watch this if you dare. (First you'll probably want to put down any chicken tenders you might be eating at the moment).

Anyway, in my dream I was deciding how to get rid of this gigantic horrible beast-bird outside my patio door and thought about opening the door and throwing a rock at it. But I was afraid it would get bloody and pissed and attack me. Messy.

Slowly I realized it was a dream, and the real source of that awful noise was outside my window. I begrudgingly got out of bed, put on earplugs and quietly said a blessing for the inventor of soft squishy materials--aaaaah sweet relief. It's amazing how effective earplugs are these days!

Until my earplugs fell out a few hours later and once again my ears filled with the audio equivalent of bile.

Damn bird.

Who'da Thunk?!

Public Service Announcement of the Day:

Tricky Legal Nomenclature Memorandum #001

A mechanic's lien is not what you think it is. It's a lien put on land or buildings by a construction worker. It has nothing to do with car mechanics.

An artisan's lien is what car mechanics get.

These people are thinking, "We didn't get paid on time. Should we put a mechanic's lien on the property?"

A Little Love, Finally!

Let it be duly noted that Thursday April 10th was the first beautiful day in Boston in 2008. It's been a long horrible winter since October last year so you can imagine the relief!

Though it took Boston far too long to eek out one fair afternoon, it was certainly worth waiting for: seventy degrees, sunny, and clear as a crystal.

I went jogging just to be outdoors and I smiled like an idoit the entire time. That's what happens when you taste your first drop of warmth after 6 months of bitter cold! Heck, it seemed the entire city was out jogging, walking, and lying out in the sun. An old lady in my apartment complex sat on our front steps just to eat her yogurt!

Fine days. Just another reason I'm so happy to be moving back to California in a couple months. There a nice day is nothing to blog about, but here, it's a cause celebre.

Touchy subject

I'm bored from studying so this is my "break."

I don't really have anything to write about though.

Except this recent thought: I really hate talking to people about their beliefs...unless we already pretty much agree.

It's not that the subject itself displeases me, it's everything that comes with it. The emotion, the perception of judgment and the triggering of inferiority complexes. I'm much too afraid of offending the other person, which renders me rather mute and inarticulate. Everything has to be couched so diplomatically so as not to make the other person feel "bad." What I'm trying to say always gets lost in the hems and haws of niceties.

I hate the sensitivity dance.

I've learned long ago to speak about beliefs only to those who already know my intentions toward them are non-judgmental--basically, my friends. To strangers who do not understand where I'm coming from I often resort to actions only. I find for myself that it is both cowardly and necessary.

Need a good laugh?

Next time you think your morning commute sucks, just check out these unfortunate Japanese commuters:



I laughed so hard watching this I thought I was going to bust a gut. Funniest thing I've seen in years! Thanks Alaberi!

Amateur's Night

Yesterday Michael and I entered ourselves into our first "big" Trivia Contest consisting of roughly 12 teams of 5 people each. Prizes were ipod shuffles.

Our group had Michael, his sister, me, and two random walk-on players. We would've done abysmally were it not for one of the walk-ons, Pete, who knew a surprising amount of random stuff.


The contest was slow and the questions were frustratingly obscure. Wanna test your knowledge? Here were some of the questions:

1. Which US state is known as the Land of Enchantment? (Pete got this one)

2. In olden times, what did you call the carnival person who bit off the heads of chicken?

3. In which decade did the largest empire rule the most land?

4. Which current Victoria's Secret Angel has been an Angel for the longest? (I got this one wrong. Michael claimed complete ignorance: "I have no such carnal knowledge")

5. What is the world record for the fastest men's 100m sprint? (Give answer to the nearest tenth--Pete got this one too)

6. What are you eating when you eat sweet breads? (I wagered a lot on this and totally got it wrong! Argh)

7. What is the currency of Iraq? Spelling counts! (Michael got this from the news and old Arabic college classes)

8. Which former LSU men's basektball player is the all-time leading NCAA Division I scorer? (Pete got this one wrong)

9. Name the 4 US Presidents who were born in the greater Boston area. (We got 3 of them right!)

10. Which was the first President to fly while in office? (We got this one too)






Answers:
1. New Mexico
2. a geek
3. The British Empire in the 1920's
4. Heidi Klum! I thought it was Gisele :-(
5. 9.7 seconds
6. Thymus gland or pancreas. I thought it was cow's brain! :-(
7. The Dinar. Some groups said oil! Ha ha ha
8. Pistol Pete Maravich! Not Shaq, which Pete thought.
9. John Adams, John Q. Adams, JFK, and George Bush Sr.!
10. FDR

How did you do? If you got more than 4 right, you beat us!

An Open Love Letter

Oh Martha!

You have a hideous TV personality (probably becaues you have a hideous personality in real life), but I do love your aesthetics!

Today you have brought me immeasurable joy as I watched your morning show (despite cringing at everything you said in your thinly-veiled voice of disdain for non-perfection) as you announced your new partnership with 1-800 Flowers.

Your arrangements range from the unique to the sublime and are infused throughout with your incredible sense of style and sophistication. Bravo!


But not only are the flowers divine, you have given us the most charming vases to go with them! Indeed you mentioned that they are excellent reproductions of your own favorite vases throughout the years. What a wonderful keepsake to cherish long after the blooms have faded!


And now that you're running a $10 off promotional as well as a 10% off discount (codeword: MARTHASHOW) I have every reason to order one of your delightful creations for a lucky recipient!


Thank you Martha, you made my day!


Michael...are you taking notes?

April Fool's Shirts

In honor of this day here are some foolish t-shirts I like:

Can you tell what a huge fan of Arrested Development I am?
Only the good (shows) die young. *sigh*