Give me that old time religion PLUS

I spent Saturday with Stephanie and Mary.



Mary Baker Eddy, that is, founder (foundress?) of Church of Christ Scientist which world headquarters are conveniently located in Downtown Boston.

We first visited "The Mary Baker Eddy Library for the Betterment of Humanity" which is like a visitor center and museum. But as soon as you go in, you realize it's more like "The Mary Baker Eddy Display for the Conversion of Humanity to Christian Science."


Each display has been carefully crafted and positioned to evangelize to the viewer in a subtle and nonconfrontational way.

1. First you begin at the "questing" display where all kinds of famous people of different religions are quoted about spiritual seeking. No specific religions are mentioned, just general mushy gushy sentiments about spirituality (very Oprah-esque).


2. Next you go through the "Mary's Quest" display where it talks about Mary's childhood and how she grew up Presbyterian but just could not abide the harsh god of Predestination. And it shows her rebelling against the barbaric medical notions of her day, some propogated by ignorant Presbyterian ministers like Sylverster Graham, the infamous inventor of the Graham Bread Diet.


3. It also shows Mary as a champion of Women's Rights and antislavery movements.


4. Lastly you enter the "What Mary Found (and Founded)" display, which I like to call "The Eureka Room." This is the part in a sales pitch where the "closing" comes. Are you searching spiritual truths as Mary did? Well then you've come to the right place. Here's what Mary found to be true and now she will share that secret with you (not for $600, not even $400, but this priceless truth is FREE!) Ok, I watch too many infomercials.

Anyway, it was fun to see the Mapparium, which the tour guide told us has nothing to do with the religion. It's just there for fun. What is it? It's a 3-story globe that has a glass walkway in the middle for people to stand on and ogle from.

It's funny because it was made in the 1930's and the world has changed considerably since then. French Indochina anyone? It was sad to see that nearly all of Africa was colonized back then. No wonder it's a basket case now!

Afterwards we went to the actual church built by Mary in 1891 and the annex. It was the most beautiful building I've seen in a long time: thilling vaulted ceilings, rich expensive wood, dazzlingly crafted stained-glass windows. Now that's a church!


And what was in each velvet-padded pew?

Two books: The King James Bible and The Book of Mary (which is really called: Science and Health).


And inscribed all over that gorgeous sanctuary are quotes from Christ, the apostle Paul, the apostle John, and of course, Mary Baker Eddy.

And that's when I realized how these kind of religions get started. Much like Joseph Smith's Mormonism, Mary Eddy promoted Christianity, but with a twist, what I like to call, PLUS. It's all the things you like about Christianity, and then your own embellishments too.

What struck me as the saddest thing about the Church of Christ Scientists is its anachronism, aptly symbolized by their out-of-date globe.

In Mary's day, it was probably best not to follow modern medical practices, which included blood-letting for fevers and other cooky things. But now, her gospel of "No doctors needed, just faith" is ignorant and detrimental in the face of technological and medical advances.

Many a child of Christian Scientists have died on Law & Order episodes due to lack of medical attention stemming from Mary's quackery.