The Child-Free Life?

Wow Time Magazine, way to rub it in.

Ever since Noah was born I've been feeling kind of beat down by the whole "raising kids" thing.  I'm not going to lie--when I see couples with just one kid or no kids, I feel pangs of envy.

I half joke to all my friends that Judah was just entering his easy phase (after being an exhausting baby and toddler) and then we had to screw ourselves all over again by having #2.  Now here we go again with the whole exhausting ordeal--the sleep deprivation, the feeling like a hostage while nursing, the fussy crying, etc, etc.

Listen, I know babies are blessings and miracles.  I know we are lucky to have them.  They are little angels of love and sunshine, blah blah blah.  But frankly, until they reach age 3, they are also huge pains in the butt.

I'm not going to launch into a litany of all the ways I've been deprived since a child emerged from my womb since I've already documented them here and here.  But let me just say this--I actually looked forward to going into labor with Noah because it was the closest thing I've had to a vacation resort since Judah was born.

Once I checked into the hospital (aside from the whole annoying labor part), I could have 3 blissful days and 2 peaceful nights without my toddler constantly demanding, whining, crying and generally annoying me.  And all meals were provided.  I could finally just kick up my heels, put on a movie, and not get up for as long as I wanted.

In reality, the hospital stay sucked because Noah had jaundice and I had to wake up every 3 hours at night, schlep down to the NICU and nurse the kid.  But in theory, the hospital stay should've been awesome.

Anyway, to be fair to the whole parenting thing--it's probably not that bad if you have relatives nearby who can help.  But we have none of that.  I imagine it makes a big difference if you can get a break once or twice a week or even a big getaway break once or twice a year.

Nope, it's an all day every day proposition for us.  No sick days.  No vacations.  And most annoyingly, no evenings off.

So yes, I was salivating just a little bit as I browsed that magazine cover article.  And yes, I fantasize about having a child-free life.

But then I see stuff like this...

...and...it makes me want to thank someone.