People Who Don't Want Kids

I know a lot of people who don't want kids.

In fact, I used to be a person who didn't want kids.  I suppose I still would be, but for the fact that I already have a kid, so kinda doesn't matter anymore how I feel about that topic.

But suffice to say I completely understand not wanting to have kids.  There are a lot of reasons to not want kids.

First, kids are a lot of work.  No joke.  Kids take up the bulk of your time and energy until they finally fly the coop EIGHTEEN LONG YEARS later.  Not to mention the expenses!  Hello college tuition--why yes, please help yourself to my wallet, take whatever you want.

Second, kids are emotional hijackers.  Your happiness and well-being are now forever linked to the happiness and well-being of another person.  As my mom-in-law put it--a parent can only be as happy as her unhappiest child.  It's true.  The sound of Judah wailing in misery or pain makes my blood pressure go through the roof.  It's scientifically proven to do so.  We are hard-wired to care until our hearts burst.  I know that if anything ever happened to Judah, the lights in my world would go out.

And you know you're going to fail.  Every parent fails their kid.  Everyone.  It's only a matter of degree I suppose.

Third (really, do you need another reason?) you just might not feel the biological need to reproduce.  I didn't.  I think maybe 75% of people have a strong urge to have kids just because that is also how we're hard-wired.  But some people are just missing that gene, or whatever.  I was just happy with the way things were.  It's not that I didn't love kids--I did, especially babies, but I just never felt the need to MAKE one.

Having made such a compelling case for not having kids, why the heck would I have one?  Asked and answered here.

And now that I have had one for 2 years, do I regret it?  Do I even, dare I say it, recommend it?

These questions are huge and would take way too long to answer.  So let me just say this for now--there is nothing like parenthood. 

There is nothing that even comes close to its heart-expanding powers.  Where before there were only puddles in the desert, there are now oceans of love.  But, beware, as the great poets of our age have sung about--love hurts.  Or rather, as Mellencamp reminds us--love hurts so good.