The Call

I have long envied people who have more than a job--they have a calling.

They wake up each morning and feel conviction and the pleasure of God.

I wake up each morning thankful for a job and a paycheck, but not much else.

What does it take to find your calling?

I’ve been wondering this question since junior high. The first time I was ever allowed flexibility and individual choice in my education, was the first time I navel gazed for direction. And none came. I chose the electives I thought were fun, but they ultimately had no collective purpose.

I did not know what I was created to do.

My lack of direction intensified in high school and college, as “real life” threatened to rear its head at an ever accelerating speed. I thought I would be a teacher. Or a computer programmer. Or a speech-writer. Or a musician. Or a ballerina. Or a classics scholar. Or a biblical scholar.

But instead, I found myself two years out of college in dead end jobs and needing financial stability. I was tired of not being able to provide for myself or others. And tired of living in fear of cavities and driving citations. I was tired of being an adult with kid-sized finances.

So I went to law school.

And here I am. Feeling no more closer at 30 than I was at 13 to finding where I belong.

Perhaps finding our calling is another modern myth, like finding The One--a fairytale promise with no counterpart in reality...until we enter the new and greater reality.

My Uncontroversial Life

I'm starting to realize the beauty of an anonymous blog. I wish I had one. This is a thinly veiled blog, but I think everyone who reads it knows who I am in real life.

But if I had a truly anon blog, I could write about how [____________] is totally blowing up right now and how I feel like [________] almost every day.

And I would also mention that my [__] is totally depressed and thinking about [________] my [___] after [_] [____] of [_______].

And mostly how I have a total [_______] on some [____] which is really messed up.

Oh, and how I really feel about all the recent pregnancies of my friends. Last year I knew 0 pregnant people. Now there's like 10, I kid you not! (puns happen)

It's a wierd time.

But because I am who I am and you know who I am, I'm relegated to posting about noncontroversial things like this...


If veggies could talk, this one would say, "What am I? An eggplant or a bell pepper? I'm so confused!"

How does it taste? I wish I knew. It rotted before I had a chance to eat it, like most veggies in my fridge. I'm full of good intentions, but lack follow through.

Story of my life.

Staycation All I Ever Wanted

Most people love to travel far away on their vacations, but that's just not how we kick it cuz:

(a) M hates long car and plane rides;

(b) We are the cheapest people you'll ever meet; and

(c) We live in one of the most beautiful tourist-magnets in the world!

Here are some things we did in our own "backyard"...

(1) The Presidio and Golden Gate Bridge.
You know, you can be married to someone for 6+ years (and dating for 5) and still find out new things! Like, I never knew that M had never been to the Golden Gate Bridge (until we went on our staycation).

Classic San Fran--the red bridge and the fog!


(2) Muir Woods National Monument
Just in time to appreciate Ken Burns' new documentary on PBS!


If you keep walking beyond the "tourist" trail, you soon find yourself in what seems like a pristine Eden, untouched by the destruction of man--the Land Before Time.

But if you're like me, watching way too many murder shows, you start to freak out because you realize the Zodiac killer targeted couples going on hikes in remote locations...and then you realize the Zodiac killer has never been caught...and then you start imagining horrific possibilities...I'm too young to die! We're turning back!

This pic gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Love Bug'. We must've gone during mating season cuz everywhere there were these gross clumps of ladybug orgies doing things that would make hedonists blush.


(3) Golden Gate Park
Although we've been here before, we feel like it would take another 50 hours to fully explore the meandering scenic pathways scattered throughout this oasis of natural beauty. Everywhere I turned my head, there were just these perfectly landscaped "moments" of visual bliss.



(4) I met Baseball Hall of Famer--Rickey Henderson!
I'm not into baseball at all, but it doesn't matter. A celebrity is a celebrity and this was my first celeb-sighting! I'm so hooked I want to go to LA and NYC to hunt more down!

(And he signed my shirt! My first celebrity autograph!)


Rickey came out to celebrate a baseball field that was named in his honor--Rickey Henderson Field, which is the field for his alma mater, Oakland Tech. I have the great fortune of being the main pro bono lawyer helping the nonprofit group that constructed and maintains the field.


Yes, sometimes lawyers feel GOOD about their job. It's rare, but it happens!

Back on the wagon

Okay, I've totally fallen off the blogging wagon.

I hate when other bloggers have huge absences of more than a week and now I've become one of "them".

It's just so hard to get back on the wagon after a week or so. Too much crap happens and then you just get used to not updating...and then the pressure mounts to write the entry and the avoidance kicks in...and then it's too daunting to try to summarize everything...

But here's a quick attempt. Sigh, this reads like a twitter account--maybe that is the way of the future:

1. Flew to NYC for work. Highlight--visiting EmDash at her offices, my hotel room. Lowlight--everything else.

2. Flew to Chi-town for work. Highlight--visiting for the first time, my hotel room. Lowlight--everything else.

3. Lost my vacation due to work, then got it back partially after talking to the bosses, then proceeded to feel guilty throughout my vacation because my boss had to finish my project for me and I took off more time than originally planned because of the way the project timing worked out and wasn't sure if that was really authorized by the boss.

4. Tried to enjoy my staycation even though I felt guilty the whole time.

5. Still on said staycation.

Another Best Name Ever...

Wait for it, wait for it...

JAHVID BEST (And it's not just a pun!)

Number one rusher for the Cal Bears and ONLY rusher on the shortlist to win the 2009 Heisman and demolisher of the Terrapins last week during Cal's opening game.

Best ran 73 yards for one of his two first-quarter touchdowns and the 12th-ranked Golden Bears avenged an early-season loss to the Terrapins last season with a 52-13 victory Saturday night to open this season.

This year is our year. I can smell it baby. All the way to the championships over USC's carcass!

GO BEARS!

Best Names Ever

To add on to yesterday's list:

1. Bernie Madoff (with your money)
2. Alexander Youshock
3. Usain Bolt (of lightening!)

Best Names of 2009

(1) Bernie Madoff (with your money).
(2) Alexander Youshock.

It was fated!

What's that Lassie? You think I should get a biopsy?

This article gives me another reason to love dogs...


"In the small world of people who train dogs to sniff cancer, a little-known Northern California clinic has made a big claim: that it has trained five dogs - three Labradors and two Portuguese water dogs - to detect lung cancer in the breath of cancer sufferers with 99 percent accuracy.

The study was based on well-established concepts. It has been known since the 80's that tumors exude tiny amounts of alkanes and benzene derivatives not found in healthy tissue."

Style 101: Bustin' Out

There's only one thing I love more than shopping for myself, and that's shopping for others! (I get all the buzz of retail without the pain of dropping dough) So when my friend, let's call her...Wen, asked me for some style advice, I lit up like a Chirstmas tree.

Wen wanted some easy options for office wear, but she is one of those rare Asian ladies blessed with a plentious bossom. She often finds shirts are too tight on top. But if she makes room for the girls, the rest of her top looks tent-like and shapeless.

So what's a bustily blessed girl to do?

The key, I think, is structure, structure, structure. The important thing is to nip in the waist while letting everything else breathe. The best and easiest way to do that is with option 1, the blazer.

#1 The Blazer
I love blazers. A good blazer hides a multitude of sins. It gives structure and shape without revealing any bumps and lumps. The key is not to be all matchy-matchy with your suit. Wen has only black pants, so here are some great "pair with black" blazers...

The ever versatile khaki blazer from J.Crew. I just got a similar version at Banana for $85 on sale.

A great tweed pattern looks fabulous with black pants. These are a very affordable option from New York and Company.

This outfit from Kenneth Cole can be bought at Nordstroms. It cinches in your waist and still leaves plenty of room for the chest. This is the epitome of big-busted dressing.

If you're tired of blazers, or it's too hot, you can get the same effect with a vest. This is from Nine West at Macy's.

#2 The Peplum Blouse
You may not have heard the word "peplum" before, but all big chested girls should embrace it. A peplum is the part of the shirt that flows out past the waist--a huge part of 40's style clothing. The peplum does exactly what a big-chested person needs--it nips in the waist while leaving room on top.

Beautiful option from The Limited. You can pair this with a long boyfriend cardigan in grey merino wool.

Here's a shirt with the same peplum effect. Look for elasticized or nipped in waists and you'll be able to wear a shirt that fits the girls without making you look like a shapeless tent. Also from The Limited.

Beautiful peplum blouse from Banana.

#3 Belted Shirt
The belt is probably the best accessory for busty girls because it allows you to wear a big loose shirt (comfortable!) without looking like a walking pillow-case.

Take, for example, a nice, loose, silk shirt like this...

This is from Ann Taylor, but this style of shirt is ubiquitous. All you have to do is add a belt and you go from tent-like to polished.

You can do a looser, hip-slung belt like this.

Or go for a structured, big-corset belt like this.

Now that I've given my 2 cents, let's hear what the experts from Lucky have to say about dressing a big bust...

All Look Same

Some cheeky new paralegal stopped me in the hallway today and said, "Bonnie, I can't find the binders."

I was like, "Bonnie who?"

I've never met new girl so I thought I would introduce myself, "Hi, I'm Alice. We haven't met. And you are?"

I think she said Daisy and proceeded to say, something to the effect of, yeah, I know you. I handed you a binder on this litigation case yesterday.

And I was like, no you didn't cuz I'm not even in litigation and I definitely didn't get no binder from you.

And we just stared at each other for a second.

And I started to feel really annoyed that this person was telling me she gave me binders and NOT backing down on her story when I think I would know better than anyone in the world that she did NOT give me binders.

Whatever. All asian females of a certain age must look the same to her. And that's not racist cuz she's asian too. A dumb, blind asian. Ok, that's mean--maybe she's truly handicapped in the visual department.

But she never backed down and said, "Oh, I guess it wasn't you," or anything to that effect. She just kept staring at me like suddenly I would remember that I WAS a litigator and that she DID give me some random binder on a case I've never heard of.

I just walked away after our staring contest. And had to vent about it.