Love, Faking

Random thoughts I think I'd like to remember someday...

1. Judah's love is cheap. Judah tells me all day every day that he loves me. It started when he could speak that full sentence when he was a toddler and now that he's six, he still says it quite often. He especially says it when he senses that I'm getting grumpy, as he thinks that will bring me back to a happy state.

I've always known Judah loves easily, but I was reminded again last week when he started talking to our Amazon Alexa device. He asked for some jokes. He asked for Dark Horse by Katy Perry and Shake it Off by Taylor Swift. And then he said, I love you Alexa.

And Alexa replied, Thanks, it's good to be appreciated.

2. When Noah is happy he talks a lot. Usually that's in the car when I'm driving home after picking him up from preschool. My hearing is not so good, his voice is rather soft and babyish, and there are lots of ambient noises from the road, so I only end up hearing about 60% of what he says.

Noah gets upset if I don't engage by responding as an active listener so I've perfected the art of feigning understanding what someone says while not at all understanding what they've said. It sounds like this:

Uh-huh...oh yeah?
Oh, that's what you did...
Oh, I see!
And then he did that...
Oh, like that!
Right, oh, yeah, I like that too...

A giant metaphor of motherhood for me - fake it til you make it...home.

3. And lastly, Noah spelled this out on his letter board as part of my 4 year parent-child review. So far my performance has been...medium. And now I'm thinking, if I ever care enough about my blog to update its look, I would definitely rename it - Medium Mom. Thanks Noah!

The hardest boss/client I have ever had to work for.

He, Me and You

One of the funnest and trippy-est (yes, Ms. English, I know those are not words) things about having a kid is seeing parts of you and the spouse in him.

Everyone is always so quick to point out that Judah looks EXACTLY like his dad--long face, skinny and tall, gravity-defying hair, etc. Seriously, we get stopped by total strangers in the grocery store all the time saying (mostly to the spouse)--Yep, definitely yours! Can't deny that one! He looks just like his dad!

We live in an urban ghetto area and even had HOMELESS people stop us on the street and comment that Judah looks "Just like his dad!" Ok, I get it. The resemblance is obvious.

But you know what? I think Judah looks a lot like me when he smiles.



Me, not sure when but definitely before I turned 2.



Judah, right before he turned 1.

But even more than physical resemblance, I think Judah takes after me in a lot of crucial ways.

First, he loves music, loves dancing, singing and drawing. These are things the spouse has never cared for a day in his life. Seriously, I've known my spouse for 15 years and NEVER, not ONCE have I seen him bust a move. Ever. For any reason. Judah, meanwhile, has been shaking his booty to the beat since, well, since he could stand on 2 feet.

Second, Judah is a total extrovert, loves socializing and has more empathy in his little pinky than my spouse has in his entire body. He's a people person. I first realized this when Judah was barely 1 and started to wince in sympathy anytime my spouse or I clumsily hurt ourselves. Seeing others in pain makes Judah feel awful.

Once the spouse was trying to pop a really deep zit and wincing in pain.  And Judah kept saying "No, no, no, Daddy, no more!"  He just couldn't handle it.  Sweet boy.

As I was making these mental notes, I realized...hmmmm...I'm only noting the "good" traits that Judah supposedly resembles of me. I wonder what bad traits of mine he picked up?

And because I'm a selfish, delusional, conceited person, I couldn't think of any. Ha!

But of course I could think of lots of bad traits he picked up from my spouse!

But to show some measure of self-criticism and objectivity, I'll say this.  Judah can sometimes be quite selfish and possessive.  He loves to grab his toys and say "Mine! Es mio!"  Even when no one is challenging him and it's just me and him.

Dude, I BOUGHT you that toy.  Technically it's MINE.

And sadly, I'm pretty sure Judah got that trait from me.  I've always known the spouse to be a generous person, but I can be kinda grabby.  A little catty.  A little possessive.  A little jealous.

But isn't every girl?

Ugh, it was so much funner (yes, I know that's also not a real word!) pointing out the 'good' traits.

You at Two

Finally, the 3 week sh*tstorm of work has let up a little and I can write a little snapshot of you at the ripe old age of 2!


But what can I say about my sweet baby boy? How can I possibly describe all the wonderful ways you make me smile every time I think of you?

Sometimes I forget that you just turned 2 cuz you act like you understand everything I’m saying. You are so incredibly responsive and talkative and you continually shock me with your level of comprehension.

Here’s some of my favorite conversations with you:

You: Mommy, where my train?
Me: Um, I think it’s behind the couch.
(You walk behind the couch and spot your train)
You: Oh! Thank you!

We literally have this conversation 10 times a day. It’s that little “Oh!” that gets me every time. So adult sounding.

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You: Mommy, where my truck?
Me: I don’t know Judah. You throw your toys everywhere.
You: Oh…don’t worry, I find it later.

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You (while doing something dangerous): Mommy, look, look, look, look Mommy, look, look, Mommy, look,…
(But it sounds like: Mommy, luke, luke, luke...)

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You (while doing something that makes me burst out laughing): I funny boy.

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Me: Judah, you have to sit in your car seat. PLEASE! (after you resists for the 50th time)
You (magically, out of the thin blue air): Ok, I good boy! (and you give up all struggle and sit nicely in your seat).

Needless to say I LOVE when you decide to be a ‘good boy’.

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Me: Ow! (after clumsily inflicting injury on myself somehow)
You: Mommy are you ok? Ok? Mommy?
Me: Yeah, I’m fine.
You: Massage, massage (while massaging me). Feel better?

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Me (panicked because I've lost sight of you): Judah!  Where are you?!  Judah?!
You: I right here!
(But it sounds like: I rah hah!)

Your favorite activities are:

--Reading. You can literally sit and have us read you books until Jesus comes back. Sometimes you want the same story 5 times. You don’t seem to care what story it is but some favorites are The Lorax, Stop That Ball! (which you call Ball Tuba cuz there’s a scene where the ball gets stuck in a tuba), Sam and the Firefly, and any Curious George.

--Playing with Trains. A generous friend lent us a huge box full of Thomas trains and tracks and you’ve literally played with it every single day since you’ve gotten them 2 months ago. Every. Single. Day. You say “Mommy, I want play choo-choos. First build the track. Then choo-choo go round the track!”

--Driving. Every time we park the car in the driveway…EVERY. Single. Time. You always say “Judah drive, little bit, little bit. And then go home.” So if I want to avoid a total meltdown, I’ll put you in the driver’s seat as you proceed to push every button possible. The emergency lights, the interior car lights, the wipers. But most annoying is when you force feed me Altoids from the tin we keep in front. Maybe you’re just politely trying to tell me my breath stinks. But regardless, it’s annoying. And you always want to turn on the radio, “Music, no too loud” you always say.

--Playing with Nenes (that’s little kids in Spanish). You love playing with kids of all ages--1 to 91. You make me troll around the neighborhood with you looking for playmates. “Mommy, where the nenes?” you always ask. Playing with other toddlers usually entails just copying what they’re doing. Running around, flapping your arms, jumping up and down. It’s weird what passes for socialization at your age.

Your favorite foods are:

--Spicy chips! Specifically, Salsa Picante chips from Tias. They are seriously adult-spicy. You MUST dip them in sour cream and sip milk to wash down the spice.

--Strawberries. I love how you call them strawbay-bays. You’re also pretty fond of blackberries and raspberries although you strangely won’t tolerate blueberries.

--Watermelon (Wa-wa-melon)

--Cantaloupe (Camolope)

--Apples (which you always have to inform me is: manzanas)

--Peanuts (no nut allergies here thankfully!)

As you can tell, you basically only like fruit and snack foods. You’re not at all into ‘real’ food and NEVER eat whatever we’re eating. Much to my consternation, you won’t try all the regular ‘kid foods’ like pizza, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, or hamburgers. But the ONE thing you’ll eat is mac n’ cheese. Ugh. You drive us crazy worrying about how to fix you food that you’ll actually eat.

Well, those are the basics for now. At the beginning of age 2 your big personality has blossomed in a major way--outgoing, empathetic, social, oppositional, picky, and oh so talkative.

I call you my big boy and you say “Mommy, I big boy” all the time. But when I look at you lying perfectly still in your crib, asleep, I see a chubby cheeked baby boy with tiny hands and tiny feet, swallowed up in a child-sized blanket.

My sweet baby. My big boy. How do I keep you with me?

Simba Happy?

One of the best things about parenting is watching your little helpless lump emerge into a human being with his very own personality.

And oh what a personality!

One of Judah's strongest traits is his interest in other people's emotions.

Judah loves people, especially his nanny's daughter.

Whenever we read books, he's always pointing at various characters and asking if they're happy.  Sometimes they are.  But other times they clearly aren't.

Judah happy?  Heck yes!

There's a scene in the Lion King where Simba is clearly distraught because his dad just died saving his life.  Judah ALWAYS flips to that page and asks "Simba happy?"  And I tell him for the 300th time, "No Judah, Simba is sad because his daddy died."  I know, heavy stuff for a 1 year old!  What were you thinking Disney?

But the funny thing is Judah LOVES maudlin books.  His favorite books and illustrations are the ones with extremely sad emotions.  He even tears up sometimes when we get to the most dramatic parts. 

I'll never forget the first time we read Llama Llama Red Pajama and the momma llama and baby llama re-unite after a traumatizing absence.  I looked at my baby's eyes filling with tears and I thought "Oh my sweet precious boy."

But it doesn't stop me from manipulating his sensitive little soul.

Often times the easiest way to get Judah to comply is to act like I'm really sad.  For example, Judah hates eating.  And after cajoling him proves fruitless yet again, I'll put on a very sad face and say "Judah, mommy sad because you don't eat.  Mommy sad.  Boohoo!"

And sure enough, Judah opens his mouth for a bite and says "Mommy happy?"

Feels kinda wrong, but hey, the kid's gotta eat!

Easy (Vocal) Rider

A few weeks ago, we were in the throes of Epic Family Illness 2012 and Judah had to go to the doctors' for an eye infection.  The upside?  The doctor gave us some impromptu observations on Judah's personality.

While he poked and prodded Judah amidst Judah's loud protests, he noted that Judah was an extremely vocal baby.  Um yeah, I coulda' told you that.  Judah has been "vocal" from day one--and by vocal, I mean constantly, CONSTANTLY, fussing, whining, and crying about something.

But after the poking and prodding was over, Judah happily played with the doctor and flashed him his signature mega-watt smile.  The doctor said this is a sign of being quick-to-forgive.  Judah does not hold grudges, apparently, not even for a minute.

While most babies would be wary of the 'mean' doctor that poked him/her during the rest of the visitation, Judah has no such reservations.  As soon as the discomfort is over, all is forgiven and everyone is a friend again.  I wonder where/who Judah gets his easy disposition from?

Or maybe he just inherited my extremely short memory!

The Cognitive Explosion Continues

Judah did 3 things yesterday that blew my mind.

First, he conversed with his nanny in this exact way before my wide eyes:

Nanny:  Judah, a donde fuimos hoy?  (translation: Judah, where did we go today?)

Judah: Pa---parque (that's Spanish for park)

Nanny:  Con quien fuimos?  (translation:  Who did we go with?)

Judah: Landon! (that's his toddler friend)

This totally blew my mind because (a) it was entirely true and accurate and (b) it was in the freaking past tense, as the convo took place in our home.  My baby can talk about past events!!!!  WHAT?!?!

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Second, he saw his dad pull up in the car and ran to him and gave him a big smile/giggle, hug and kiss.  That's not that remarkable in terms of development cuz he's done all that before.  But it was just so unbelievably sweet.

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Third, all on his own, without any prompting from me, he played "cooking" with my utensils and little frying pans.  He went to the utensils drawer and pulled out a spatula.  He made cooking motions with it in the frying pan and then pretended to eat from it and offered it to me to taste as well.  He did this also with some wooden spoons and ladles.  I mean, yeah of course he's seen me cook before, but whatever gave him the notion to fake-cook and fake-eat?

I've never seen him use his imagination like this.  He can play pretend!!!

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In short, Judah is officially not a baby anymore.

Onward!

Judah is a very busy, pro-active, take-charge kind of guy. Hmmm...I wonder who he gets that from?

He knows what he wants (which is everything) and goes for it with abandon. So naturally we have a lot of pictures of him in his favorite pose. Usually this pose is accompanied by him shouting "Dat!" (translation: That!)

The only thing better than charging forward on the ground? Why, charging forward on the shoulders of a beast of burden!

As Judah's Korean great-grandma says of him--He's going to be general someday! (And judging from his hat, probably a marxist general).

Judah Fact #002: You are Innately Compassionate

Ever since you were about 5 months old I knew you were a compassionate soul.  You loved your soothie pacifier more than anything else in the world (except the real boob) and your eyes would light up everytime you spotted it.

One day you were happily sucking on your soothie when your dad pointed to his mouth and said, "stick it in daddy's mouth" and you did it with a smile.  What sharing, what compassion, what generosity.

You've long ago abandoned your soothie (on your own thankfully, no pacifier wars in this house) and now you have a new love--food.  Your favorite dish now is butter-rice with a dash of soy sauce and sesame oil.  You and your dad were gulping it down like ravenous wolves yesterday while I stood nearby washing dishes.

All of a sudden I saw a little hand extending a spoonful of butter-rice toward me, gesturing for me to eat it.  Awww, just melted my heart, my sweet, compassionate, generous little guy.

It's amazing how you are just tempermentally like this.  There's no way we could possibly teach you, at this young age, to care about other people and want to share good things with them for no reason other than the joy of sharing.  In this way you are just like your dad.

Of course, it's probably the case that you are just in a phase in which it's fun to share.  In a few months, like all toddlers, you'll probably be snatching all your stuff and shouting "Mine! Mine!"  But for now, you are awfully sweet.

Judah Fact #001--You have insatiable curiousity

You absolutely hate it when I lay you flat to change your diapers. You have such an insatiable curiousity that you can't stand to be lying down and NOT exploring your world.

So every time I have to change you, to avoid you bursting into a wailing tantrum with giant elephant tears rolling down your face, I have to give you an interesting object to hold on to.

Lately it's been a toothbrush.

But I know the novelty is wearing off after just a few days so I need to find a new interesting and baby-safe object soon.