My Punny Sonny

What do you call a bullfrog with no legs?

I don't know, sad?

No, "unhoppy"!

What is an alligator's favorite drink?

I don't know, swamp juice?

No, "gator-ade"!

Judah told me these two jokes this week and I'm LOVING it. He knows I love puns and he saves them up for me, a few every week for the last 3 months or so.

He's so punny.

But what cracks me up the most is when he chooses a perfect phrase that seems way too mature for him. I'll never forget the time last year, when I sat at the kitchen table, pausing in weariness after taking a long sip of water.

Judah looked at me with anxious eyes and said, "There followed a dreadful silence..."

It was a direct quote from a Roald Dahl book we had been reading at bedtime, and it was perfect.

The dreadful silence was quickly swallowed up by mirthful chuckles, story of my life with kids.

Dear Santa

This note cracks me up on so many levels.

First, the grammar and spelling errors. Laundry is spelled "lojry" and Judah likes to invert his b's and d's so he asked for a "rodot" hahahahaha.

Also, what the heck is going on with the first letter of your last name? Lower case AND inverted.

I love how at the end of the letter, he tells Santa to "chos onw" - a very humble request to 'choose one' toy since asking for more than one is clearly too bold.

It also cracks me up how he claims to help me with laundry. That kid has folded maybe 3 hand towels in his ENTIRE life and sorted 6 socks into the right pile - 6 individual socks, mind you, not pairs. If this puts you on the "good" list, then I'm set for life after just a single day of housework.

Lastly, it's funny to me that Judah wrote this all while not believing in Santa. Since he was about 2, he asked if Santa was real and we just didn't have the heart to lie to him in the name of fun. So he wrote this for me. Knowing that I know how little laundry he actually does. Bold.

Oh my dear child. Your entire Christmas experience is unmerited grace, however blind you are to it. Indeed, your whole life. Indeed, mine.

Portrait of a Parent

Sometimes people see me out and about with the kids and make kind comments like - you are such a good mom! You are so patient!

It's amazing how seeing a 2-minute snapshot of a parenting situation is so different than a 12-hour time-lapse experience.

Because if you ask Judah how he feels about my parenting, he would probably present to you this very telling picture (which he in fact did present to me last week):

Mommy, this is about 'motions. So we can learn about 'motions. In this picture you are mad, I am sad, and Noah is confused.

And there you have it. The inside scoop from someone who tells it like it is.

This is one superhero you do not want to piss off...

I apologize in advance if this offends anyone.

There, you've been warned.

But how could I not share something that made me spit-up-my-water-and-pee-in-my-pants laugh when I turned around and saw it?

All I heard was his innocent little voice...

Mommy, look, it's Super-finger!

Uh, yeah, make that Super-MIDDLEfinger.

I am now seriously contemplating making Super Middle-finger my FB profile pic. The teen-boy in me is, like, yeah, totally, like, do it!!!!!!!

Turns out kids do say the darndest things...

Overheard this conversation Judah had with my friend:

Judah: How old are you?

Me: Oh [friend] you don't have to answer that!

Friend: No, it's okay. I'm 34!

Judah: That's old.

Friend: How old are you?

Judah: Three and a half. I have a whole big life to live still.

Friend: That's right! You sure do.

Judah: But you're going to die soon.

Ba dum chhhhh

Is that me?!

OMG--I went on this website and got a little shock--this chick looks like me! How'd they get my picture?! Maybe I have a long lost twin out there somewhere...

You can see the website here.


Then I called the hubby over to look at it and he flipped out too.

Toddy, your wife is so fancy

This episode of Giada at Home had me laughing harder than any SNL show I've ever seen. Giada decided to make some of her husband Todd's favorite midwestern dishes from his childhood and in the process, made her in-laws look like boorish unsophisticates.


How? Before making each dish, Giada had Todd's mom explain how she made the dish for Todd as a kid. Never did such well-intentioned plans go so wrong. To wit:

Spanish Rice
Todd's Mom: Todd just loved when I made a box of rice and dumped in ketchup and hamburger meat. We called it Spanish rice.

And then, without meaning to, Giada shows what uncultured hicks they were by make HER version of "Spanish Rice" with pancetta and saffron rice (with no boxes or ketchup of course).

Orange Cake
Todd's Mom: Todd's favorite dessert growing up was orange cake. I just used a Duncan Heinz box cake mix. He loved it.

Giada continues her damning with faint commentary by baking a cake from scratch with lots of fresh orange zest.

I wonder if there's any tension in the kitchen at family get togethers? Does Giada have to keep her face from blanching when Todd's mom asks her to please pass the aerosal cheese whip? Ha ha ha ha.

No, but really, I do like Giada's cooking show and I think she's adorable. Although she looks really wierd when she flashes her toothy grin (not unlike a hot Italian Cheshire cat), it's hard not to like someone who is so obviously genuinely excited and delighted by food. I LOVE food (not love, but LOVE), so anyone who LOVES food is automatically accepted in my book.


And her baby Jade is always on the show and she's tooooooo cute!