Sunday, December 30, 2007

Christmas: The Ultimate Anticlimax

Every year I look forward to Christmas, starting in July.

And I actually love the fact that retailers are pushing Christmas items onto shoppers earlier and earlier each year. The more the merrier, I say. It's like a win-win. Good for business, and good for people who love the feel of Christmas in the air, like me.

And when November rolls around, it's a welcome non-stop Christmas-a-thon. On tv, in the movie theatres, in the malls, everywhere, strings of lights, red, and gold. Ho ho ho and good cheer to all.

And just when anticipation is at its most heightened frenzy, just when you can taste your vacation days beginning, that's when it all goes downhill.

You know what I'm talking about. Those few days beginning the 22nd or 23rd, when you start to spend serious time with family. Everyone flies in from the far corners of the earth and you're all stuck together in unfamiliar confines.

Now, I love my family, but let's face it. Home is where the annoyance, irritation, and sometimes worse, the heartache is.

On Christmas Eve, you usually find that one person has an ill-temper because they have the flu, one person just has an ill-temper as always, and there's always at least another who's simply absent because he or she doesn't care for Christmas. That's if you're lucky.

If you're unlucky, there's been a massive blow-out fight and presents won't be opened until New Year's Day.

Either way, you're the one left holding the bag...of decorations.

I know life is not an ABC Afterschool Special: Home for the Holidays, starring Tracy Gold. But why does it have to be so stark, the difference between the Christmas in my mind and the one in reality?

All I know is, it's just another example of anticipation being a bitch. The more you make out of something, the more disappointing the reality is. Actual Christmas suffers for the immense build-up our culture produces starting in early October. The perfectly trimmed tree, the perfectly scrubbed white family on tv, the music.

But even so, I won't give up the anticipation. In my head there is a perfect Christmas and I refuse to "re-adjust" it to cushion the blow of reality. I'm a cautious pessimist in every other aspect of my life (I probably won't lose that last 5% of body fat, I probably can't get perfectly clear skin, I probably won't ever love my job, and I'll probably never furnish my house the way I want), but damn it, I'm holding on to Christmas!

I will never stop hoping, anticipating, wishing, and trying, trying, trying. I don't care how many gifts I have to wrap, how many trees I have to decorate by myself, and how many Christmas songs I have to play...by myself too.

For the love of Christmas. The Dream lives on.


Hope you had the Christmas of your dreams and boldly anticipate a great New Year.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty I'm free at last!


I hate to trivialize words of such historic and cultural importance, but it captures my feelings like nothing else could. After being chained to my loathesome study desk, cramped in my back-breaking chair, for the better part of two months writing papers and finals. I'm finally, finally FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The first act of freedom? I'm going to the knitting store to start a new project! Yeah! I've only done hats and scarves in the past but I think I'm ready to move on to a sweater vest!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Legal Gems

Sometimes in the midst of reading dry legal materials, you come accross some inspired prose that jolts you out of your humdrum malaise with a snort and a chortle, like this passage from my professional responsibility treatise:

"To put it cynically, lawyers think they should be required to keep secrets where disclosure could avoid a grievous harm to others,...but they should be permitted to disclose relevant information when their own butts are in the sling."

Ha ha ha ha! Butts in a sling! That kills me! How often do you get to see the word 'butt' in legal texts? Ha ha ha.

Ok, clearly lawschool has deeply eroded my standards for what's funny.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Two views of a minor miracle

Lately there's been a lot of snow here. As a native Californian who never skis, it always feels like an eerie supernatural phenomenon.

Here are my attempts to remember this from two perspectives:

From within...



and without.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Things Fall Apart

On the immediate aftermath of a recent implosion, I still can't understand what happened. The end of an era, a dream--I knew it was too good to be true!

Things just fell apart.

Was it my fault? All of ours? What could have been done to save it? Why try ever again? Is it something I should file under "Q" for quixotic?

All I know is this. If you weren't on the same page to begin with, you shouldn't be surprised if one day you realize you're not even reading the same book.

And then you wonder if you really have anything in common at all? What's the point of it at all? Can there really be a relationship--much less a friendship--if conversation is strained, affiliation is lacking and interests are non-over-lapping?

What are we doing here then?