Wednesday, August 30, 2006

What a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man...or is he?

Look what a difference a good man can make in a woman's life:

Exhibit A: I give you Christina Aguilera-Bratman

Before she met a good man (namely her newly-wed husband, Jordan Bratman), she was all dirrrty and asslessly-chapped. If this isn't a cry for help, I don't know what is.

But look at her now! Girl has turned over a new leaf. She feels good about herself and she looks it. Thank you Jordan for restoring the sanity and self-esteem of a downward-spiralling songstress.

But be warned ladies, choosing the wrong man can bring just the opposite, a perilous turn for the worst.

Exhibit B:
Sure she may be doing better now, but that girl has gone on one loooong downward plunge since meeting Mr. K-Fed from which she is just now starting to recover.

Her career, her reputation, and perhaps worst of all, her fashion sense, has been all but ruined by that fateful union.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Exhibiting Signs of Depression

I'm dreading going back to school.

If this year is going to be anything like last year, just shoot me now.

All I remember was constantly wondering: Is this all futile? Am I studying the right things? Do I really need to be going to class?

And when I got my exams back I realized the answer to those questions were: yes; half-and-half; and no.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Froline Maria's Got Nothin' on Me

This seems like a nice feel-good quiz...

Instructions: Name 10 of life's simple pleasures, then pick people to do the same. Try to be original and creative.

1. Watching a steamy iron take out all the wrinkles in cotton dress shirts.

2. Jumping into a bed made with freshly laundered sheets and covers while wearing freshly cleaned jammies after taking a nice hot shower...to read a spell-binding page-turner.

3. Dancing like a maniac when you know you're all alone.

4. Singing your heart out when you know you're all alone.

5. Playing with a toddler or dog...no other "animal" comes close (sorry cat lovers).

6. Hosting a dinner party for six with matching dishes and silverware, decorated with candles and flowers, complete with appetizers and dessert, and of course, fabulous wine.

7. Reading a line that perfectly articulates what you've always felt but could never express.

8. Gut-busting comedy. The kind that makes you laugh out loud and snort up your milk-shake. It's even better when YOU are the gut-busting comic.

9. Pizza and a GOOD movie, both must be shared.

10. Being truly sorry and then being truly forgiven.


I tag: Alaberi, Quiet Girl, SuperEgo, and TipTopTam (and anyone else on my links).

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Summer: Soup to Nuts Edition

soup to nuts slang. 1. From beginning to end; 2. To include or cover everything, as in a multicourse meal; e.g. The lecture on basketweaving covered everything from soup to nuts.


So here's the soup to nuts of what I did this Summer:

1. I heard the expression "soup to nuts" for the first time in my life.

2. Worked as a student lawyer for "indigent" people.


3. Visited the Bay Area.


4. Said goodbye (or rather syonara) to the Shorts as they moved to Japan.


5. Said goodbye to the Georges as they moved to the Bay Area.


6. Got a short visit from mom-in-law.


7. Did NOT go to the biggest casino on the East Coast, did NOT play craps and blackjack there, and did NOT double my money. (Woohoo!)


8. Another goodbye! This one's going to Southern California.


9. Tooled around Cambridge with Brother and Connie.


10. Played the quintessential Boston commons sport: frisbee.


11. Did a 1500 piece puzzle.


We finished!


12. Played all kinds of board games, like this one, Bang! This was a fun western-themed game in which there are Sheriffs, Outlaws, and Renegades. While playing this I kept hearing this song in my head, "I shot the sheriff...but I didn't shoot the deputy."

Th-th-that's all folks!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Little Miss Sunshine


By now most people have already seen this delightful cinematic piece. I think I really enjoyed it because it reinforces my personal philsophy on life, which has always included the following elements:

1. Life is really, really hard and almost always sickening.

2. People are really, really flawed and almost always pitiable.

3. And any art, to be good, must be mindful of the two points above; because art should be truthful and only in truth can there be beauty.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Androgenous Pat

If you have an Yahoo email account, you've probably seen this person before. He/she is one of the rotating pictures Yahoo has on its log-in page.

And it drives me crazy wondering...is this a man or a woman?

Particular points of ambiguity:

1. The hair -- too long to be male, but not an obviously feminine style.

2. The jawline -- too strong to be female, but then again, some women do have big man-dibles. Think: Russian Women's Olympic Weightlifting...which brings me to my next point...

3. The shoulders -- looks a little too broad and beefy to be a female's. And lastly...

4. The clothing strap -- Is that from a halter top? (In which case it's a woman) Or a rare sighting of a strappy man-tank? (In which case it's a badly dressed man who's stuck in the fashion hell of the eighties and early nineties).

And I do wonder what's in that red plastic cup...a cocktail of orange juice and crushed hormone therapy pills?

It basically boils down to this: the hair, the sunglasses, and the strap says woman. But the man-dible and the beefy shoulders say man.

What do you think he/she is?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Favorite Quote of the Day

"I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty."

-- The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Women I Love

I'm so sick of all the vapid, self-absorbed, and slutty celebrities in the limelight that I decided to pay homage to some of my favorites.

Unlike wonky-eyed Paris, or double-D Pam, or red-neck Britney, or crack-ho Lindsey, or barbie-twins Ashley and Jessica Simpson...these ladies have more class and talent in their pinkies than most celebrities can show for in a lifetime.

So without further ado, I present to you, the real treasures of Hollywood:

Lisa Kudrow - Incredibly real, incredibly funny, incredibly talented.



Felicity Huffman - Not a great looker, but anyone who plays a transvestite in a compassionate film and is married to William H. Macy is tops in my book.



Sandra Oh - Hard on the eyes, but such a talented actress! You never feel like Sandra is "playing a role." She's totally natural and unaffected on screen.



SJP - Once again, hard on the eyes, but such the comic genius and gracious talk-show guest. I don't care what nasty rumors were floated around the set of Sex and the City. SJP exudes good taste and dazzling wit.



Reese - I respect her for resisting the pressure to look Barbie-ish and never getting a chin-reduction. The girl is the epitome of Southern class and charm. You'll never see Reese in a ghastly outfit, nor her children throwing a tantrum.



Charlize - The only lady on my list that actually looks hot. Blessed with both ravishing beauty and humility, a rare bird indeed. I bet her depth of character has something to do with her tragically abusive childhood. Despite all her assets, she probably still has extremely low self-esteem...which is probably her saving grace.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006