I can no longer deny I’ve moved into middle-aged adultdom. There, I said it.
Last year, I didn’t know a single person that was pregnant.
This year, everyone and their cousin is pregnant. Literally, off the top of my head, I can list 9 people I know who are popping or have popped in the last 6 months. And that’s not counting all the Facebook pregnancies of more distant “friends.”
It must be because I’m turning 30. There, I said that too.
Ever since I was a teen, the age 30 had a magical quality to it. Like a harbinger of death, or at least fuddy-duddiness. 30 is the end of fun. The beginning of solid responsibility, sensible shoes and corporate hair. The time you really start to look like your mom or dad did.
And, what I’ve only recently discovered, 30 is the age for having babies.
Sigh, kids. Is it really time for all that? Sigh.
I have no problem with kids, but I guess I was hoping to avoid all that…drama. I feel like there is a manic penumbra surrounding the topic of kids that I don’t want to go anywhere near. It’s like, normal, reasonable, self-deprecating people suddenly morph into obsessed, wild-eyed crazies when it comes to their children. I know this is a generalization, but you know what I’m talking about!
Even when polite parents try to conceal it, you can see the gleam in their eyes. It’s a gleam of pride, exaltation, TRIUMPH! The gleam says: Isn’t my kid a piece of work?! I once read an interview of Katie Holmes talking about 1 year old Suri and how Katie is in awe of Suri. Simply in AWE. Suri teaches Katie about how to be a better human being and she’s so incredibly courageous.
Courageous?
Is Suri fighting off rabid bears out behind the Hollywood hills? Is she grappling with the existential angst of living in a fallen and broken world? Is she even struggling with an awful childhood illness that requires multiple surgeries or radiation?
Then…how…? Help me out here Katie.
And as much as I want to tell myself that I don’t want to turn into THAT mother, what hope do I have? Doesn’t (almost) every parent turn into a puddle of child-goop because that is the power of kids? Sigh.
I don’t mind the sagging, the wrinkles, the weight-gain and the loss of vigor so much (okay, that’s a lie, I’m going to fight those tooth and nail)--but when it comes to aging, save me from parenthood!
p.s. And no, I'm not baking something in the oven, so to speak!
2 comments:
Hahahah, I feel you. Katie Holmes calling Suri "courageous" is ridiculous. Parents sound like cult members, don't they? They have the fervor of true believers. What's especially creepy is how they absolutely do not see major flaws (not to be cruel but come on! Children, just like adults, are not all attractive). They aren't just faking it! The utter blindness make you start to feel like you're talking to aliens with a completely different reality. But I guess it's the whole survival of the species thing so we don't ditch our young.
If it's any comfort, I bet you'll be reasonable, and also, your kids should actually be cute. When is your actual birthday?
Oh! I'm so sorry I forgot to back to you on the afternoon tea. It's been a horrendous month work-wise. How does the outlook on tea look for December? :)
Hey Tam--I hope I didn't alienate all my parent-friends who read this, gulp. You're kind and very optimistic to say that I'll be a reasonable parent. I'll certainly try to live up to that, but God help me! You've got to tell me when I start morphing into a kid-obsessed cult member, ha ha.
I love your line "Children, just like adults, are not all attractive" ha ha ha ha. Too true. I'm actually operating on the default that my kid is going to be fugly...I saw Michael's baby pictures. Enough said!
Oh, and yes, tea in December sounds great! (My actual bday is in Dec too, sigh, old age)
Post a Comment