Give me that old time religion PLUS

I spent Saturday with Stephanie and Mary.



Mary Baker Eddy, that is, founder (foundress?) of Church of Christ Scientist which world headquarters are conveniently located in Downtown Boston.

We first visited "The Mary Baker Eddy Library for the Betterment of Humanity" which is like a visitor center and museum. But as soon as you go in, you realize it's more like "The Mary Baker Eddy Display for the Conversion of Humanity to Christian Science."


Each display has been carefully crafted and positioned to evangelize to the viewer in a subtle and nonconfrontational way.

1. First you begin at the "questing" display where all kinds of famous people of different religions are quoted about spiritual seeking. No specific religions are mentioned, just general mushy gushy sentiments about spirituality (very Oprah-esque).


2. Next you go through the "Mary's Quest" display where it talks about Mary's childhood and how she grew up Presbyterian but just could not abide the harsh god of Predestination. And it shows her rebelling against the barbaric medical notions of her day, some propogated by ignorant Presbyterian ministers like Sylverster Graham, the infamous inventor of the Graham Bread Diet.


3. It also shows Mary as a champion of Women's Rights and antislavery movements.


4. Lastly you enter the "What Mary Found (and Founded)" display, which I like to call "The Eureka Room." This is the part in a sales pitch where the "closing" comes. Are you searching spiritual truths as Mary did? Well then you've come to the right place. Here's what Mary found to be true and now she will share that secret with you (not for $600, not even $400, but this priceless truth is FREE!) Ok, I watch too many infomercials.

Anyway, it was fun to see the Mapparium, which the tour guide told us has nothing to do with the religion. It's just there for fun. What is it? It's a 3-story globe that has a glass walkway in the middle for people to stand on and ogle from.

It's funny because it was made in the 1930's and the world has changed considerably since then. French Indochina anyone? It was sad to see that nearly all of Africa was colonized back then. No wonder it's a basket case now!

Afterwards we went to the actual church built by Mary in 1891 and the annex. It was the most beautiful building I've seen in a long time: thilling vaulted ceilings, rich expensive wood, dazzlingly crafted stained-glass windows. Now that's a church!


And what was in each velvet-padded pew?

Two books: The King James Bible and The Book of Mary (which is really called: Science and Health).


And inscribed all over that gorgeous sanctuary are quotes from Christ, the apostle Paul, the apostle John, and of course, Mary Baker Eddy.

And that's when I realized how these kind of religions get started. Much like Joseph Smith's Mormonism, Mary Eddy promoted Christianity, but with a twist, what I like to call, PLUS. It's all the things you like about Christianity, and then your own embellishments too.

What struck me as the saddest thing about the Church of Christ Scientists is its anachronism, aptly symbolized by their out-of-date globe.

In Mary's day, it was probably best not to follow modern medical practices, which included blood-letting for fevers and other cooky things. But now, her gospel of "No doctors needed, just faith" is ignorant and detrimental in the face of technological and medical advances.

Many a child of Christian Scientists have died on Law & Order episodes due to lack of medical attention stemming from Mary's quackery.

Don't hang up...it's me!

So you may have noticed my blog title has changed to Alice in Wonderland. I need to go incognito now because I'll be working for The Man soon (well, technically interviewing to work for The Man) and he doesn't appreciate employees who blog.

See this entry for more info.

Perry Mason I am not.

Read about my first trial here: complete with sketchy ethics, an off-the-hook judge, and a less-than-dignified falafel*.

*The identity of the food has been changed to protect the client's privacy.

Happy Mass-aversary

It's been one full year since we left the fair state of California to weather the forbidding climes of Massachusetts.

Indeed we enjoyed experiencing the authentic Four Seasons for the very first time:

Summer

Fall

Winter

Spring

What I once took for granted as "typical weather" in California, I now appreciate with a fierceness I never could've imagined, as 355 of the 365 days a year are either cold or muggy.

No wonder inter-state migration only moves in one direction: from East to West.

The God-like Brian

Gather 'round children and you shall hear,
A tale of one who is much revered.
Brian Fletcher is his name,
And his legacy is the stuff of fame.

Brian did what few have done,
The trifecta of lawschool he hath won.
He was President of Law Review,
Won Moot Court and graduated Summa too.

Do you know how hard that is to do?
In all of history Summa has been given to
No more than 35 student grads,
So not every class a Summa has!

Such brilliance makes one pause and wonder,
What is it like to have everyone else be under
Your level of sheer genius and mind,
And to be at a pinnacle of human-kind?

Does it make one proud and condescending,
Or provide one with satisfaction unending?
Or does it leave one disillusioned and bored,
Wondering if that's all life can afford?

Needless to say, the good path is thin,
Between the dangers of either sin.
But one truth remains both time and again:
Much is required of whom much is given.

Yeah, I said it.

I just spent the last hour glued to a momblog.

You know, those blogs written by young hip moms who just had a kid recently. This one seems to have the perfect life.

First, she looks hot.
Second, her husband looks hot.
Third, her kid is super cute.
And lastly, her home looks wealthy.
Oh yeah, and she's funny. Sparkling personality, as they say.

I get, from the blog, that she's a stay-at-home mom who just loves the bejesus out of her kid.

I bet she also scrapbooks all fancy-like with special scissors and corner-cutters, etc.

I can't decide whether I feel nauseous, jealous, or scared to death that that will be me in five years.

On one hand, I've always had a special place in my black-little heart for doting moms. I hate them. Period. What the hell is so precious about your kid that you need to be completely obsessed with him/her 24/7. We all know you think the world revolves around little Sally, but frankly, the world DOES NOT. Kid-centered moms are just as bad as self-centered people...but in many ways worse.

At least self-centered narcissists know that they have a problem and need to snap out of their mirror-gazing cocoon. But kid-centered moms think they are totally justified in their obsession because they think they are just being loving and devoted mothers...as they should be.

But I got news for you lady. You keep that up and Junior will grow up to be one messed-up and therapy-needing adult because you could not model what a decent person should be: interested in more important things than you and yours.

Either he'll grow up to be an arrogant prick, thinking he's God's gift to the world; or he'll grow up totally dependent on Mummy and those apron strings will never be cut.

So for the love of all that is decent, stop obsessing about your stupid kid!

(p.s. I'm in no way implicating mom-bloggers. Just because you blog about your kid does not necessarily put you in the category of unhealthy obsessors. So, "No, I don't mean you").

Blame it on the Rain

Oh the futility of trying to stay dry when it's pouring cats and dogs!

While crossing a busy street today, I jumped over a puddle, trying to avoid getting my beloved pants wet, and then horror struck.

Instead of landing on my right foot, I keeled onto my right ankle, and sprained it. And then, trying to compensate, I shifted my weight onto my left side and ended up keeling onto my left ankle and sprained it. Finally, losing my balance altogether, I fell forward into a deep puddle, scraping my right knee and yes...

after all that, getting my pants entirely soaking wet.

(And now I'm a cripple to boot. I've got two busted ankles and one sad limpy gait).

My Week of "Work"

My first law job: read all about it here.