This week we learned about the self-sufficiency of God in Sunday school, among other things, and I couldn't help but shout, "Eureka!"
In some small way, I think I know exactly how God feels.
As I rapidly approach my thirties and my anniversary celebrating six wonderful years of wedded bliss (no sarcasm, really), my mind drifts to the B-question more and more.
When should I have a baby?
Many of my peers already have kids or are actively trying but I'm still floating in a pool of indifference. I just don't feel it--the drive, the maternal instinct, the biological alarm clock, the whatever it is that is supposed to make you get out there and procreate!
I feel very 'meh'. I could take it, leave it, either way. It's not a big deal for me to have kids, now, next year, or ever. Why? I'm not sure, but when I heard of this interesting attribute of God, I thought, maybe that has something to do with it...
In a nutshell, God's self-sufficiency is such that he doesn't need anything. He didn't create man because he was lonely, or needed praise, or love or adoration. He was perfectly happy living in the blessed community of his triune persons. He was complete already.
That's how I feel--complete. I don't need a child to love, care for, give to, get from, teach, learn, grow, etc. I mean, objectively, I probably do need a child to shake me out of my consummate self-absorption. But subjectively, I really feel no need.
I'm so happy with the way things are, just the two of us. I love my life, my extended family, my friends--my days are filled with meaningful and joyous hopes and plans. Who needs a kid?
But don't get me wrong. I love kids. I think kids are great! But I just don't need one.
It's like a Lexus, a Louis V purse, a trip to Prague or, perhaps more appropriately, a puppy...all nice and wonderful things that I just don't feel the urge to have.
But maybe I should feel the urge...is something wrong with me?