Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Just Judah

I miss Judah.

I miss going out with him--to the playground, to the zoo, exploring fun stuff. With Noah in the picture, it's just too hard logistically to take them out.

I also feel sad that Judah goes to daycare full-time every day except Wednesday. That's a lot of time away from us and he cries almost every morning--I don't want to go to Ms. Lori's house. I want to stay home all day!

Judah poses in front of the new garden he planted at daycare.

But it's just too exhausting contending with him at home, in addition to the baby. I honestly feel like Judah demands the amount of attention of 3 normal toddlers. He constantly wants you to play with him, constantly asks you questions, constantly requires unending interaction.

Despite all the mom-guilt I feel about carting him away, I know surviving these early weeks of babyhood is more important--for everyone. Even when Judah does stay home, I'm usually way too short-tempered with him from being crabby and tired.

We often have this conversation:
Judah: Mommy, why you mad at me?
Me: I'm not mad at you, I'm just tired.
Judah: Why don't you go to sleep?
Me: I can't sleep at night cuz Noah needs me to help him at night.
Judah: You can just let him cry.

Or after I blow up with anger at Judah, he'll try to soften things by saying "Mommy, I love you," knowing that I always respond "I love you too." That just kills me.

Recently Judah has been really into "police" clothes. He thinks anything that's blue is police attire. I had to buy him an entire new wardrobe in blue so he wouldn't fight me on clothing choices anymore.

Um, yeah, policemen totally wear those clothing items.

Today he wore his new "police" shirt and "police" pants and could not be prouder. He went around his daycare telling everyone about his police clothes and even told his stuffed animals about it when he got home.

I like to take advantage of Judah's police fetish by telling him that he needs to eat his "police" turkey and "police" vegetables. Hey, you gotta use what you can with a picky eater!


C(h)ristine said...

It will be okay. Noah will eventually sleep through the night! And Judah and Noah will befriend each other--and these days will fade into fond memory, methinks. Penny is 9 weeks now--still tough, but so much better. And I found a nanny! It's all like a miracle.

Alice in Wonderland said...

Glad you found a nanny! 9 weeks is better...but I can't wait until 12 weeks when I will freely ferberize the crap out of my baby!

Young said...

hahaha! police turkey and police veges. i'm gonna have to try that. it will be princess turkeys and princess veges though.

hang in there. gets much easier at around 4 yrs i think.

CP said...

Oh man, do NOT feel guilty. Not for one second. Think about all the things Judah is learning at daycare. Independence, playing with others, etc. Plus, it is probably good for him to get out of the home environment and get some palytime in with kids his age. Enjoy your time with baby Noah. Judah had you all to himself when he was a baby and now Noah gets a little piece of that too. The boys won't even know the difference! And seriously, they are not lacking in love from their mama, that's for sure!

Alice in Wonderland said...

Thanks CP--that actually makes me feel a lot less guilty. I have to keep reminding myself of all the good things about daycare!

CM said...

Police vegetables, LOL. I think K is too old to fall for "Super Mario vegetables."

I had K in full-time daycare too when I was on maternity leave. It saved my sanity!