Best Names Ever

To add on to yesterday's list:

1. Bernie Madoff (with your money)
2. Alexander Youshock
3. Usain Bolt (of lightening!)

Best Names of 2009

(1) Bernie Madoff (with your money).
(2) Alexander Youshock.

It was fated!

What's that Lassie? You think I should get a biopsy?

This article gives me another reason to love dogs...


"In the small world of people who train dogs to sniff cancer, a little-known Northern California clinic has made a big claim: that it has trained five dogs - three Labradors and two Portuguese water dogs - to detect lung cancer in the breath of cancer sufferers with 99 percent accuracy.

The study was based on well-established concepts. It has been known since the 80's that tumors exude tiny amounts of alkanes and benzene derivatives not found in healthy tissue."

Style 101: Bustin' Out

There's only one thing I love more than shopping for myself, and that's shopping for others! (I get all the buzz of retail without the pain of dropping dough) So when my friend, let's call her...Wen, asked me for some style advice, I lit up like a Chirstmas tree.

Wen wanted some easy options for office wear, but she is one of those rare Asian ladies blessed with a plentious bossom. She often finds shirts are too tight on top. But if she makes room for the girls, the rest of her top looks tent-like and shapeless.

So what's a bustily blessed girl to do?

The key, I think, is structure, structure, structure. The important thing is to nip in the waist while letting everything else breathe. The best and easiest way to do that is with option 1, the blazer.

#1 The Blazer
I love blazers. A good blazer hides a multitude of sins. It gives structure and shape without revealing any bumps and lumps. The key is not to be all matchy-matchy with your suit. Wen has only black pants, so here are some great "pair with black" blazers...

The ever versatile khaki blazer from J.Crew. I just got a similar version at Banana for $85 on sale.

A great tweed pattern looks fabulous with black pants. These are a very affordable option from New York and Company.

This outfit from Kenneth Cole can be bought at Nordstroms. It cinches in your waist and still leaves plenty of room for the chest. This is the epitome of big-busted dressing.

If you're tired of blazers, or it's too hot, you can get the same effect with a vest. This is from Nine West at Macy's.

#2 The Peplum Blouse
You may not have heard the word "peplum" before, but all big chested girls should embrace it. A peplum is the part of the shirt that flows out past the waist--a huge part of 40's style clothing. The peplum does exactly what a big-chested person needs--it nips in the waist while leaving room on top.

Beautiful option from The Limited. You can pair this with a long boyfriend cardigan in grey merino wool.

Here's a shirt with the same peplum effect. Look for elasticized or nipped in waists and you'll be able to wear a shirt that fits the girls without making you look like a shapeless tent. Also from The Limited.

Beautiful peplum blouse from Banana.

#3 Belted Shirt
The belt is probably the best accessory for busty girls because it allows you to wear a big loose shirt (comfortable!) without looking like a walking pillow-case.

Take, for example, a nice, loose, silk shirt like this...

This is from Ann Taylor, but this style of shirt is ubiquitous. All you have to do is add a belt and you go from tent-like to polished.

You can do a looser, hip-slung belt like this.

Or go for a structured, big-corset belt like this.

Now that I've given my 2 cents, let's hear what the experts from Lucky have to say about dressing a big bust...

All Look Same

Some cheeky new paralegal stopped me in the hallway today and said, "Bonnie, I can't find the binders."

I was like, "Bonnie who?"

I've never met new girl so I thought I would introduce myself, "Hi, I'm Alice. We haven't met. And you are?"

I think she said Daisy and proceeded to say, something to the effect of, yeah, I know you. I handed you a binder on this litigation case yesterday.

And I was like, no you didn't cuz I'm not even in litigation and I definitely didn't get no binder from you.

And we just stared at each other for a second.

And I started to feel really annoyed that this person was telling me she gave me binders and NOT backing down on her story when I think I would know better than anyone in the world that she did NOT give me binders.

Whatever. All asian females of a certain age must look the same to her. And that's not racist cuz she's asian too. A dumb, blind asian. Ok, that's mean--maybe she's truly handicapped in the visual department.

But she never backed down and said, "Oh, I guess it wasn't you," or anything to that effect. She just kept staring at me like suddenly I would remember that I WAS a litigator and that she DID give me some random binder on a case I've never heard of.

I just walked away after our staring contest. And had to vent about it.

To Splurge or Not to Splurge

As a voyeur of retail fashion, you will often see almost the exact same style in two different price ranges. And it's in those moments you must ask yourself: to splurge or not to splurge?

Is the upscale version so vastly superior that it's worth dropping the extra cash?

Case Study #1: The Patent Animal Print Flats

One of these pairs is literally 5x the cost of the other. But can you tell which one? I think, when it comes to patent, no one can tell if it's real leather or not. That's the beauty of patent. Verdict: Don't splurge.



Case Study #2: The Red Officer's Pea Coat

Here I think it's pretty obvious which coat is more expensive, but maybe it's not. Can you tell? One is 100% wool, while the other is half nylon. Verdict? Jury's still out.



What's your verdict, gentle reader?

In which Alice breaks down...

REDACTED due to the sensitive nature of the topics in this post.

You never know who might chance upon your blog these days!

The Letter D

Today's outfit is brought to you by the letter D.

"D" stands for depressed, despair, and done gave up.

I'm not even pretending to care about looking office-appropriate today. Usually I'll try to have at least one structured article to differentiate how I look at home v. how I look at work--but not today.

I have a soft t-shirt on made out of pajama-like materials.

I'm wearing black knit pants--the kind soccer moms buy from Land's End to workout in or run errands.

I topped it all with a cozy over-sized sweater coat.

And nothing says "I don't care" like my glasses and greasy hair.

4 days of 14 hour-a-day work and voila. You win! I've lost all will to look cute or professional.

Their Idea of Fun

Ever wonder what guys find entertaining?

We recently went on a beach trip with our church, CCCAC (where hubby is the English pastor!), and found out. Apparently they don't need a lot of fancy toys--just some dirt, rope and elbow grease provided hours of fun and chuckles.

Physical feats were flaunted: the human pyramid.


The man-pile.


The aimless shoulder-lifting. This went nowhere fast.


Also the guys dug a deep pit, about 6ft. deep!


Some liked jumping over the pit (and others, ahem Michael, enjoyed pegging the jumpers with a volleyball).


But the favorite activity of all was repelling off the pit wall (have to see it in motion for the full effect):



And of course, some thought it would be fun to be buried alive. Some may be permanently scarred from this experience.