Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Call


I have long envied people who have more than a job--they have a calling.

They wake up each morning and feel conviction and the pleasure of God.

I wake up each morning thankful for a job and a paycheck, but not much else.

What does it take to find your calling?

I’ve been wondering this question since junior high. The first time I was ever allowed flexibility and individual choice in my education, was the first time I navel gazed for direction. And none came. I chose the electives I thought were fun, but they ultimately had no collective purpose.

I did not know what I was created to do.

My lack of direction intensified in high school and college, as “real life” threatened to rear its head at an ever accelerating speed. I thought I would be a teacher. Or a computer programmer. Or a speech-writer. Or a musician. Or a ballerina. Or a classics scholar. Or a biblical scholar.

But instead, I found myself two years out of college in dead end jobs and needing financial stability. I was tired of not being able to provide for myself or others. And tired of living in fear of cavities and driving citations. I was tired of being an adult with kid-sized finances.

So I went to law school.

And here I am. Feeling no more closer at 30 than I was at 13 to finding where I belong.

Perhaps finding our calling is another modern myth, like finding The One--a fairytale promise with no counterpart in reality...until we enter the new and greater reality.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My Uncontroversial Life

I'm starting to realize the beauty of an anonymous blog. I wish I had one. This is a thinly veiled blog, but I think everyone who reads it knows who I am in real life.

But if I had a truly anon blog, I could write about how [____________] is totally blowing up right now and how I feel like [________] almost every day.

And I would also mention that my [__] is totally depressed and thinking about [________] my [___] after [_] [____] of [_______].

And mostly how I have a total [_______] on some [____] which is really messed up.

Oh, and how I really feel about all the recent pregnancies of my friends. Last year I knew 0 pregnant people. Now there's like 10, I kid you not! (puns happen)

It's a wierd time.

But because I am who I am and you know who I am, I'm relegated to posting about noncontroversial things like this...


If veggies could talk, this one would say, "What am I? An eggplant or a bell pepper? I'm so confused!"

How does it taste? I wish I knew. It rotted before I had a chance to eat it, like most veggies in my fridge. I'm full of good intentions, but lack follow through.

Story of my life.

Friday, October 09, 2009

Staycation All I Ever Wanted

Most people love to travel far away on their vacations, but that's just not how we kick it cuz:

(a) M hates long car and plane rides;

(b) We are the cheapest people you'll ever meet; and

(c) We live in one of the most beautiful tourist-magnets in the world!

Here are some things we did in our own "backyard"...

(1) The Presidio and Golden Gate Bridge.
You know, you can be married to someone for 6+ years (and dating for 5) and still find out new things! Like, I never knew that M had never been to the Golden Gate Bridge (until we went on our staycation).



Classic San Fran--the red bridge and the fog!


(2) Muir Woods National Monument
Just in time to appreciate Ken Burns' new documentary on PBS!


If you keep walking beyond the "tourist" trail, you soon find yourself in what seems like a pristine Eden, untouched by the destruction of man--the Land Before Time.

But if you're like me, watching way too many murder shows, you start to freak out because you realize the Zodiac killer targeted couples going on hikes in remote locations...and then you realize the Zodiac killer has never been caught...and then you start imagining horrific possibilities...I'm too young to die! We're turning back!


This pic gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Love Bug'. We must've gone during mating season cuz everywhere there were these gross clumps of ladybug orgies doing things that would make hedonists blush.


(3) Golden Gate Park
Although we've been here before, we feel like it would take another 50 hours to fully explore the meandering scenic pathways scattered throughout this oasis of natural beauty. Everywhere I turned my head, there were just these perfectly landscaped "moments" of visual bliss.



(4) I met Baseball Hall of Famer--Rickey Henderson!
I'm not into baseball at all, but it doesn't matter. A celebrity is a celebrity and this was my first celeb-sighting! I'm so hooked I want to go to LA and NYC to hunt more down!

(And he signed my shirt! My first celebrity autograph!)


Rickey came out to celebrate a baseball field that was named in his honor--Rickey Henderson Field, which is the field for his alma mater, Oakland Tech. I have the great fortune of being the main pro bono lawyer helping the nonprofit group that constructed and maintains the field.


Yes, sometimes lawyers feel GOOD about their job. It's rare, but it happens!

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Back on the wagon

Okay, I've totally fallen off the blogging wagon.

I hate when other bloggers have huge absences of more than a week and now I've become one of "them".

It's just so hard to get back on the wagon after a week or so. Too much crap happens and then you just get used to not updating...and then the pressure mounts to write the entry and the avoidance kicks in...and then it's too daunting to try to summarize everything...

But here's a quick attempt. Sigh, this reads like a twitter account--maybe that is the way of the future:

1. Flew to NYC for work. Highlight--visiting EmDash at her offices, my hotel room. Lowlight--everything else.

2. Flew to Chi-town for work. Highlight--visiting for the first time, my hotel room. Lowlight--everything else.

3. Lost my vacation due to work, then got it back partially after talking to the bosses, then proceeded to feel guilty throughout my vacation because my boss had to finish my project for me and I took off more time than originally planned because of the way the project timing worked out and wasn't sure if that was really authorized by the boss.

4. Tried to enjoy my staycation even though I felt guilty the whole time.

5. Still on said staycation.