I have long envied people who have more than a job--they have a calling.
They wake up each morning and feel conviction and the pleasure of God.
I wake up each morning thankful for a job and a paycheck, but not much else.
What does it take to find your calling?
I’ve been wondering this question since junior high. The first time I was ever allowed flexibility and individual choice in my education, was the first time I navel gazed for direction. And none came. I chose the electives I thought were fun, but they ultimately had no collective purpose.
I did not know what I was created to do.
My lack of direction intensified in high school and college, as “real life” threatened to rear its head at an ever accelerating speed. I thought I would be a teacher. Or a computer programmer. Or a speech-writer. Or a musician. Or a ballerina. Or a classics scholar. Or a biblical scholar.
But instead, I found myself two years out of college in dead end jobs and needing financial stability. I was tired of not being able to provide for myself or others. And tired of living in fear of cavities and driving citations. I was tired of being an adult with kid-sized finances.
So I went to law school.
And here I am. Feeling no more closer at 30 than I was at 13 to finding where I belong.
Perhaps finding our calling is another modern myth, like finding The One--a fairytale promise with no counterpart in reality...until we enter the new and greater reality.
7 comments:
You are sooo not alone. Though I am trading a dead-end job for a career that doesn't pay more. Maybe I should go back to the drawing board?
I don't know...but choose carefully...I think a job change should either give you more pleasure or more freedom (via money).
I don't know if calling always comes in the form of a job. Keep praying, sister. Maybe your calling right now is just to keep calling out to God and keeping in close touch with Him. Maybe?
I so loved this post. It hit really close to him. I too live in fear of cavities and driving citations (and random allergic reactions that call for ER treatment) because of the havoc that it wreaks on my finances, and yet I don't even have the compensating freedom that would typically come with the type of job that gives you financial stress. I'm living the nightmare and without the money!
Maybe it is just a pipe dream, this whole idea of being able to make a living doing something we love. Life is about expectations and maybe the problem is not properly managing our expectations. Sigh. Sorry that got rambly! I'm sort of that point that when people tell me they like their jobs I narrow my eyes and think "well, goody gumdrops for you, Mr. Lucky Pants." What's that sentiment called? Ahh...bitterness.
Alaberi-You are absolutely right. This is prob where I'm supposed to be--huddled, lost, wandering and pleading--in the Wilderness.
Tammy--You are hilarious! And it's so true about hating the lucky people, ha ha. Darn those people who say "I can't believe I'm getting PAID to do the stuff I do." Ugh. But hey, you still have a chance of finding the Golden Ticket--aka a rich man!
Join the club!
Have you and mike ever sat down and looked at your gifts, talents, and joys all combined? And if there isn't a job that does that right now, could you turn it into one?
Or perhaps motherhood is calling you?
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