The Call

I have long envied people who have more than a job--they have a calling.

They wake up each morning and feel conviction and the pleasure of God.

I wake up each morning thankful for a job and a paycheck, but not much else.

What does it take to find your calling?

I’ve been wondering this question since junior high. The first time I was ever allowed flexibility and individual choice in my education, was the first time I navel gazed for direction. And none came. I chose the electives I thought were fun, but they ultimately had no collective purpose.

I did not know what I was created to do.

My lack of direction intensified in high school and college, as “real life” threatened to rear its head at an ever accelerating speed. I thought I would be a teacher. Or a computer programmer. Or a speech-writer. Or a musician. Or a ballerina. Or a classics scholar. Or a biblical scholar.

But instead, I found myself two years out of college in dead end jobs and needing financial stability. I was tired of not being able to provide for myself or others. And tired of living in fear of cavities and driving citations. I was tired of being an adult with kid-sized finances.

So I went to law school.

And here I am. Feeling no more closer at 30 than I was at 13 to finding where I belong.

Perhaps finding our calling is another modern myth, like finding The One--a fairytale promise with no counterpart in reality...until we enter the new and greater reality.