50 Shades of Toddlerdom

I've totally fallen off the blog-wagon lately so this is my catch-up post.  Warning--it ain't gonna be pretty.

There are literally hundreds of topics I've wanted to blog about but will probably never get to because my due date is TODAY and although the baby's probably not coming today, it will be a comin' soon and my life will end (for at least 2 months).  And so will my will to blog.

So, before I completely let things slip away in the sands of time, unrecorded for posterity, here is a completely random short list of stuff I wanted to blog about.

(1) Major mommy fail--I am my kid's own worst potty-training enemy.  Judah's been ready for underwear for at least 6 months now.  He always tells me "poo-poo coming" and goes wonderfully in his potty every time.  BUT, when he tells me "pee-pee coming" I reply "Just go in your diaper."

Sorry Judah--you look so proud but these will just have to wait!

I know, how bad am I?!  I have no real excuse except that I'm lazy.  It's really hard to get up from the floor or couch when you're in the 3rd trimester.  I hate helping him get dressed again after bathroom trips cuz he's SO wiggly.  And, the main reason--I hate public restrooms.  Sorry Judah--mommy doesn't want to take you to the nasty bathroom at Target or the mall or anywhere really.

When I told this to his pediatrician she literally said this--Great!  You can just send him off to college in diapers!

Hmmmm...someone loves sarcasm.

(2) The co-sleep creep--How we almost became co-sleepers.  The main reason I haven't blogged for a while is because I haven't slept well for the last 10 days.  Because for the last 10 days Judah started to crawl into our bed to sleep with us.

For his entire life he has slept in his own room but suddenly the dude decides he needs to run out of his room at 4 am and crawl in with mommy (probably because we just transitioned him from his crib to a real bed).  At first we tolerated this because most of the night was over and no one wants to roll out of their warm bed in the freezing cold and set off the worst alarm noise ever known to mankind--a shrieking toddler.

But then 4 am became 2 am.  And 2 am became midnight.  And before you know it, Judah refused to start out his bedtime in his room.  Being the passive conflict-avoider that I am, I was ready to give in to his demand to co-sleep except for the fact that I felt like a total zombie every morning.  Being woken up 4-5 times a night by a toddler whining for you to "pat" him back to sleep is just not viable.

And so we bit the bullet and sleep-trained him YET AGAIN 2 nights ago.  Judah cried long and hard and said some things over and over again that will always make me die a little inside every time I think about it--Mommy, where are you?  Where is my mommy?  Mommy I crying!  Mommy, can you pat me a little bit? But in the end he gave up.  Or as the spouse so horribly puts it--we broke his spirit!

No, but seriously, I'm so thankful for the advice and stories of other mom's experiences.  Made me feel like I wasn't the most horrible parent in the world and that I was actually doing the kid a service--teaching him how to soothe himself.

But part of me can't help but wonder if I'm scarring him for life with all this sleep-training...

(3) Candyland--the ultimate personality test.  A thoughtful friend bought Judah his first board game over Christmas--Candyland!  I had fond memories playing this with my older brother growing up.  Okay, that's a lie--I have one traumatic memory of playing this with my older brother when I was around Judah's age.

I just remember being super rage-pissed when my brother won the game and flinging the board upside-down and causing all the hundreds of pieces to go flying around the room.  My brother was so annoyed at my hulk-smash reaction that he vowed never to play that game with me again.  And we never did.

Judah, on the other hand, had a completely different mentality than me at his age.  When we played the game Judah decided he wanted to make up his own rules.  Even though I got to the castle first and he acknowledged that "mommy won," he quickly moved himself into the castle in his next turn and declared that he had won too.

That's my look of bewilderment mixed with subtle fear.  I don't know what to do with rule-breakers.

And forget taking one card at a time from the top of the pile.  Judah would go through each card until he found the special ones that he liked--the ones with a picture of a candy or pastry on it.

The entire time I kept saying "No, that's not how you play the game Judah" or "You're not following the rules Judah" and "You're playing the game wrong!"  And believe me, Judah understands the rules (because he largely followed them the first time we played), he just subsequently decided to ignore them.  He wanted to play the game his own way.

And that's when I realized--this child is nothing like me.  I am a goal-oriented, rule-abiding, authority-loving follower (and sometimes rage-a-holic).  My toddler is a rule-smashing, authority-ignoring, goal-reorienting drummer of his own beat.

I am and have always been a sheep.  While he's more like...his dad.

Heaven help me.

(4) Lastly, I leave you with one of my favorite memories of the last week.  Judah opened his sleepy eyes one morning in bed with us and smiled like an angel.  With my heart bursting with love, I said "Judah, you are my special guy."

And without missing a beat Judah replied "And you my special lady."

Awwwww, can't you just hear the angels in heaven weeping with the tears of a hundred unicorns?

I know, you're welcome.