Monday, June 10, 2013

I Should Change My Blog Name to Debbie in Downerland

I can't believe it's been almost 2 weeks since my last blog entry.  To be honest I've been avoiding blogging because there's really nothing good to say.  And you know what your mother would say--if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all.

But I suppose it's worth noting the hum-drum and the glum, if only for posterity's sake.

Noah's eye infection is driving me crazy.  It had all but completely cleared up 2 days ago, but just yesterday flared up again.  Today it looks as bad as ever.  ARGH.

Also frustrating is that Noah has seemed to have completely lost the ability to sleep on his own.  It's as if I've never sleep-trained the guy.  Good grief.  And he's been crying a lot in his car seat for no discernible reason.

And he's heavy.  Really, achy, my-body-is-breaking-down-carrying-this-guy kind of heavy.  Eighteen pounds.  That's like Thanksgiving turkey.  But this turkey jerks around and can't support his own torso.

Heck yeah I'm only 4 months but wearing a onesie for an 18 month old. 95th percentile biatches.


So here's a snapshot of what goes on in my head on a typical day--ugh Noah is crying and not napping, ugh Noah's eye looks like a horror show, ugh Noah is awake but cranky because he didn't nap well, ugh time to put Noah down for another nap and hear him cry, ugh Noah isn't nursing well, ugh Noah is crying like crazy in his car seat, ugh Noah is so fussy, rinse and repeat.

To be honest, Noah isn't really a 'hard' baby.  He's quite average.  But I've come to realize that I just suck at being a baby caretaker.  My temperament seems to be the exact wrong one for enjoying babydom.  I hate unpredictability.  I hate not being in control.  I hate uncertainty.  And I absolutely hate the sound of crying.

I may not be perfect, but my HAIR is perfect.  You gotta give me that.

The spouse, a paragon of eternal sunshine and optimism, keeps telling me to stop being such a pessimist.  The glass is half full!  Noah's eye is going to get better because at least now we know the medicine can work.  Noah learned to sleep on his own so he can learn it again.  Everything's going to be great and fine and things are always looking up!

Gosh it must be nice to be an optimist.  What I wouldn't give to live inside his head for just an hour!

6 comments:

C(h)ristine said...

I've got an 18 pounder, too! 97 percentile in both weight and height over here with my baby girl. I threw out my back last week (a strained rib) picking her up out of the sling and into the high chair. Ohboy. But it wasn't something 2 chiro sessions didn't make better.

They're very cute and worth it, aren't they? I'm kind of OBSESSED with my baby girl, now. Like, OBSESSED in LOVE OBSESSED like a teenager in love. I'm probably not making you feel better. :/

Remember it is getting better every week. Because remember how SHITTY the first 4 weeks were? Everytime it gets bad (P stopped sleeping through the night a few weeks ago), I think It's STILL BETTER THAN THE FIRST 4 WEEKS.

Also, since SIDS risk peaks around now, I think of P not sleeping through the night as weird reassurance, even if I'm cross-eyed the rest of the day. ;)

C(h)ristine said...

does Noah also eat nonstop? P will not stop eating and eating and eating--she feeds every waking hour or so...and I introduced her to solids--which is mitigating it some (she was drinking over 1,300mL/day and now it's just under 1,000mL/day). But oh boy. I wonder if they'll slow their growth, eventually? Please? ;)

Alice in Wonderland said...

Wow, you got a big baby too! And yes, it is HARD on the body to lug all that weight around. Glad you're feeling crazy in love--that makes it all worth it!

Noah eats about every 3 hours but sometimes I wonder if he's crying cuz he wants to eat more frequently...wish I had mL marks on my boobs. That's the annoying thing about breastfeeding--I have no idea how much he's sucking down.

My first kid was also a huge porker--99th percentile. They def slow down around 6 months--tapers off. It also gets much easier when they can support a lot of their own weight with torso control.

It only gets better from here on out!

C(h)ristine said...

P eats every 1-2 hours! but it's good to know there'll be a slow-down soon. She can already sit up by herself--supports herself on her hands. Today (she turned 5 months today), she sat up without any support for over 10 minutes. So hopefully that's a marker. Whew.

Alice in Wonderland said...

Wow, your baby girl is very strong in the core! Noah can barely sit in the Bumbo. I haven't started solids yet cuz he def can't sit in a highchair.

C(h)ristine said...

@Alice: We skipped the bumbo, bc P went straight from tummy time to sitting up. I think it's all the hours I propped her up on a pillow while pumping breast milk (spent half the day pumping in those early weeks/couple months and when I had a needy baby, I couldn't have her very far from me while pumping for 20 min, so I would just sit her up on a pillow on the bed, while I sat on a yoga ball and pumped). Solids are fun!