When I was in highschool I had a crush on a certain boy.
He never spoke in class so I easily projected all these great qualities onto his blank canvas of silence. I had completely convinced myself that he was a strong and silent Bruce Wayne type and what girl can resist a selfless evildoer-ass-kicker? On top of it all, he had good hair and dressed well. I was head over heels.
So I asked my friend to set us up on a lunch date and she executed my bidding to perfection. The much anticipated day arrived and as soon as he opened his mouth to say, "Hello," it was all over. It was like the exact opposite of Jerry Mcguire. "You had me (running for the door) at 'hello'."
Call me shallow, which certainly I am, but that boy had the most yellow teeth I had ever seen. All this time I had envisioned Bruce Wayne's pearly whites, and there I was, in his car, being assaulted by his bad breath and decaying enamels.
But I was willing to overlook that and keep an open mind. Maybe he would redeem himself by the words that would issue forth from that horrible chasm of stench.
But nope. He was about as delightful as a low-budget daytime commercial and he mumbled in a mealy voice. And that was that.
It took a mere ten minutes to completely destroy the fiction that I had built and nursed for nearly two months. From then on I changed my shy policy of avoiding guys that I liked. It's better to engage in as much conversation as possible early on. If only to check for good oral hygiene.
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