Another Unlove Story

When I was in college, there was total grease-ball of a guy who lived in my building.

I think he fancied himself an Asian pimp because he drove a rice rocket and dressed like he was going clubbing perpetually. What a delusional poser.

I passed by him once in the hallway, throwing out the trash, and he showed absolutely no discretion as he proceeded to stare at me like a cheap piece of meat, until I finally reached my apartment door and gladly slammed it shut as fast as I could.

"Can you believe that guy?!" I asked my roomate at the time. "Yeah, he used to harass me too," she replied, "He harasses every new girl."

The next day, the unwelcome Romeo rings my doorbell and when I opened the door, I could barely keep myself from busting out laughing. Unbelievable! There he was - with a grey silk shirt on, unbuttoned down to his waist! In one hand he held a bowl of fruit all cut up with little pastry forks stuck in them. And not to mention, he was wearing enough cologne to nuke Hiroshima twice! Pee-ew!

What was this?! The x-rated welcome wagon?

"I cut you some fruit," he said, holding the bowl out to me.
"Uh...what kind of fruit is that?" was all I could muster.
"It's a very rare fruit you can only get in tropical places," He replied. "I bet you've never tasted it before. Do you like trying new things?"

Are you kidding me? Is this guy for real?!

"It's called temptation fruit."

Ha! At this point I lost it and laughed my butt off and screamed for my roomate to come out of her room and say hi to the new neighbor. Anything, anything, to throw this psycho wannabe lothario off his game.

When my roomate, faithful friend that she was, came in, Mr. Temptation Fruit looked very disappointed and promptly left (thank God)...with his bowl of treats.

I'm a little disappointed that we never got to taste the fruit though.