Ugh, I'm so depressed.
I just saw a posting on FB about a 2 year old girl who suddenly died this week.
She ran up to her dad while he was turning around and he tripped over her, causing her to fall backwards and get a major concussion, lots of internal bleeding, and she died a few hours later.
Ugh.
I know another incident of a 2 year old dying. She was playing outside in her yard and a delivery truck just ran over her because she was in the truck driver's blindspot. Her mom was on the front porch and watched it all unfold (probably in sickening slow motion).
She ran to pick up her little girl's broken body and cradled her in a blood-soaked blanket until she finally passed away a few minutes later.
I probably know a dozen more stories of babies dying. In utero, in labor, in the first few months of life, in childhood. Of diseases and accidents and plain old stupid coincidence.
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| Please out-live me Judah! |
And like some sick movie director--in the place of each of these kids--I cast my own child and imagine him going through the same things they did. And I put myself in the role of the grief-stricken mother.
I have a vivid imagine. And I'm an eternal pessimist.
It's a very depressing combination.
It's my own quiet daily self-torture.
I wonder if I'm the only one that thinks this way?
And to end on a positive note--it's Friday, yay! Have a great weekend everyone!
3 comments:
You are definitely NOT the only one who thinks this way. I have these horrid thoughts multiple times a day. It's so heartbreaking to think in any second, something horrible and unexpected could happen and I would have no control over the situation.
While listening to news radio I heard a story of a little girl who died in a tragic car accident. Whenever I hear of something tragic, I can't help but think-- that could be US.
I absolutely cannot imagine the grief of a mom losing a child. That fear makes me want to never leave the house.
I'm just as sick.
I don't consider myself a pessimist, really, but I am always waiting for something bad to happen: the next time one of our girls is burned (shudder), some scary dude breaking into our house (where IS that golf club?), and a million other things. Every day.
It's terrible.
Wow, I feel so much better knowing so many moms feel terrified of horrible things happening (though I wish we could all just relax). It's just such torture to love another person SO SO SO much.
My personal "favorite" that happens EVERY night is the fear that someone's going to sneak in and kidnap Judah. Which is completely irrational because no one is going to look at our old tiny car parked outside our small apartment and think--now this is a couple who'll pay a huge ransom! And yet I still want to get a guard dog...
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