Friday, June 04, 2010

The one in which I'm just talking to myself like an office-crazed cubicle monkey

I usually know what I want to blog about before I write my entries. Some idea has fascinated me, made me feel an urgent need to make my opinion know, compelled me, like an itch to scratch.

But today I have no topic.

None. Nothing. Nada.

I'm just going to freestyle it. Like an OG rapper. Straight up.

Okay, I'm stalling.

But seriously, I have no topic, but I just feel the need to write. About anything and nothing. I think it's because I work for hours a day without much human interaction and I just need to talk to someone-one-un-n! (empty office wall echo)

So, pregnancy. That's been going okay. I just turned the corner into the 8th month and mother-freaking-load-of-goodness, the belly is big. During the 2d trimester I was all cocky, like, pregnancy is no big deal. I live a totally normal life and nothing's different. But you turn that corner into the 8th month and it gets unwieldy, let me tell you.

First, I go to the bathroom, literally, every 30 minutes. That's exacerbated by the extra water I have to drink to make sure my "system" stays "regular." Getting up and down from the floor is now a major undertaking requiring some prep, some props, and some deep breaths. Putting on socks and pants requires a lot of mental prep too, and props, and grunts.

And the craziest thing is trying to remember to NEVER point your toes, EVER. Why? Because that leads to the most mother-freaking-nature-worst-death-grip-of-pain-ever--a foot or leg cramp. Those suckers come straight from the bowels of hell and completely wake-up your tired butt in the wee hours of the morning, cursing and foaming at the mouth.

And let's not forget the indigestion. The irony of being so big is that you consume so much more food, but your stomach is the smallest ever because it's being so squeezed. So you eat a lot and then wish you hadn't cuz you can't digest it properly!

I realize this all sounds rather physically uncomfortable, but it's really not so bad. These are minor annoyances compared to much worse things like getting a rash, having bad allergies, a sore throat, etc. I'd still much rather be pregnant that experience any of the foregoing.

Not sure if I'll still be saying that in the 9th month though...

My greatest struggles these days consist of deciding when to start my maternity leave. Start too late and I won't have time to prep for baby's coming and get all the gear ready. Start too early and I'll waste my precious maternity leave and have less time with the baby afterwards. What's a girl to do?

And I'm starting to realize more and more the dark side of having kids. The dark side is the sinking feeling of dread and sorrow and fear over things you can't control. Just the other day I was reading my bedtime novel in which the main character's baby was delivered stillborn. And I swear I was depressed for the whole next day.

I often think of some friends who've had miscarriages, stillbirths or difficulty getting pregnant and see it all in a different light now.

Okay, wow, who knew one topic would take so long to ramble on about. Moving on...

So, the BP oil spill, what a mess. Hopefully they cap that sucker soon.

I wonder how the whole Israeli attack on the Palestinian aide-carrying flotilla is going to turn out. Will Israel apologize? Pay off some arab leaders under the table to make atonement and save face at the same time? That was a real clusterf**k.

And what about N. Korea's "alleged" attack of a S. Korean naval ship? The quotes are there cuz N. Korea denies it, but COME ON! Is there anyone who believes that N. Korea didn't do it (other than maybe China and N. Korea...and maybe Iran)?

Um, can you believe it's June already?! Half of 2010 is almost over!


nafrica said...

I think North Korea's itching to boast about the sinking. They're dying inside that they have to deny it for the sake of relations with China and more sanctions. Someone should do A Few Good Men style moment of truth - "You're d*mn right I did it! And I'll do it again."

Tammy said...

I like your OG entry! Sorry to hear pregnancy more uncomfortable. With regards to horrendous foot/leg cramps, I had the EXACT same issue after I broke my toe! I don't know if it was the bandage or the surgical boot but I woke up many a night with that excruciating pain thinking "so THIS is how people drown when they get a cramp while swimming!"

Alice in Wonderland said...

Tammy--So you know of what hell I speak! It's incredible how the cramp often mangles my calf muscle so badly that the whole next day I actually feel intense muscle soreness, as if I had worked it out too much.

Anonymous said...

Great descriptions of the physical ailments that come with pregnancy. I'd add hemorrhoids, but maybe that's too much information.

Alice in Wonderland said...

Thanks for reminding Brenda! Oh joy.