At Play in the Land of Lexuses

This week I did something a little risky. Something M and I haven't done in 5 years. I/we went on vacation!

With the economy whirling down the toilet and colleagues in my field being laid off like weeds sprayed with pesticide, I decided, nevertheless, to take a break. My firm's vacation policy is "use it or loose it" so I thought, what the heck, I'll use some of it.

And it was fabulous. We basically cobbled together several gift packages and discounts and booked a room at a fabulous resort lodge in Carmel Valley. It was one of those hoity-toity upper-crusty blue-blood places where the 24-hour valet attendant constantly wants to carry things for you and the guests all wear Brooks Brother khakis while driving their Lexuses. Ew.


But the rooms weren't half bad...and they did greet us with a glass of house wine from their own vineyard--an amazingly delicious (I don't even like wine) sauvignon blanc.


The food pantry and mini-bar were entirely FREE! The attendant said "complimentary" and I was like, "You mean free? All the food in the mini-fridge is free?!" I felt like such a hick.


I loved the ginormous bathroom with the double-person tub. I made good use of it too!


Check out the complimentary bath salt and loofah sponge! Heck yeah.


Loved the sweet roses and fresh fruit decorating the room.


One of my favorite features--a blazing fire to cozy up the chilly nights.


The outside was just as nice as the inside. Spacious greens and beautiful landscaping adorned the rustic vineyard style buildings.


Had fun playing croquet and bocce ball on their greens--for the record I sucked way more than M.


Took a dip in their warming pool--it was probably 15 degrees warmer than their regular swimming pool, very nice!


But despite the fabulous accomodations, it was what we did outside of the lodge that really made the trip unforgettable. To be continued...

Cheapies: Checks Please!

Gingham checks, that is.

Nothing says Summertime preppy like some fresh gingham checks. But forget paying $90 for some Brooks Brothers duds--these Cheapies will have you covered in checks, and still happy to foot the bill.

First, for something work appropriate, these well-structured button downs are good for the office and the weekend.

The Limited, $30.

Norma Kamali for Walmart, $15.

These other shirts come in great colors and paired with denim cutoffs--they're the epitome of Summer.

Old Navy, $30.

Forever 21, $14.

Forever 21, $20.

And when you can't be bothered to wear more than one thing at a time, this buffalo check shirt dress is just the thing to get you out the door.

Delia's, $45.

Who Wants to Date a Millionaire?

Patti Stanger from Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker is part Yenta, part Heidi Fleiss. And you definitely have to pay to play.


Watching her show is like getting a crash course on evoluationary biology at its finest. The men must be millionaires and the women must be hot, perfect 10's--beauty, brains, and sweet as a midwesterner fresh off the bus.

But apparently, money isn't enough. The guys ALSO have to be good-looking and young enough to get the women at the top of their wishlist. It's fascinating to see the trade-offs that inevitably play out match after match.

If he's older than 46, he can't get a girl younger than 32. If he's only average looking, he can't get the 9 and 10 girls. If he likes to party (and owns an adult online store), he's not going to get the nice girl that wants to settle down.

It's hilarious watching Patti mercilessly cut a guy down to size and give him the "tough love" straight-up truth to deflate his outsize expectations and make a realistic match. She doesn't mince words and gets right down to business, using the p-word so much that most guys start to blush.

But she's dead on. She knows how the social darwinian game is played and she knows exactly what you can and can't get with the limited resources you have.

But what about beauty and the beast? Where's the love that doesn't care about outward trappings and just looks at person's "heart"? It's a fairytale people.

The reality is the law of the jungle--survival of the hottest and richest, with a dash of decency.

Caging the Beast

Everywhere you turn there's news on the economy.

Unemployment rising, markets crashing, credit shrinking, banks failing, stimuli pumping, fears growing...

And always an undercurrent of wanting to blame someone. Who is responsible for this mess? Whose degenerate greed and ambition destroyed a nation's wealth? Bring his head out on a platter!

But as far as I can tell, the problem is not with individuals, but with that elusive entity made up of many individuals and yet another thing entirely--the mob.

The mob is a dangerous beast, and no man can stop it once it has become unleashed. The might of collective action is like a great breaking wave, sweeping any mere individual that dares to stand up against it under its overpowering tow.

It was a mob on Main Streets everywhere that decided to mortgage their houses to the hilt and refinance like there would always be rising housing prices. It was a mob on Wall Street that decided to sell mortgage backed securities like there was no tomorrow. It was a mob of credit-rating agencies that decided CDOs should be rated AAA despite the dubious assumptions used in their formulae. And it was a mob of politicians that pressured agencies to make mortgages more available to low-income people.

Any one homeowner, one trader, one rating agent, one politician was utterly powerless against these mobs. If you didn't follow the tide, you would be swept under. If you don't make the trades, you would post below-market returns. If you didn't rate the CDOs AAA you wouldn't get the repeat business from sellers of the securities. If you didn't back the policy of making mortgages to low-income people who couldn't afford it, you were political chaff at best and a racist at worst.

The whole economic debacle then is not the result of any one person or group's moral failing. It is, instead the result of failing to account for human nature. The nature of man is to act in his best interest (right on, Adam Smith). When you have hordes of people acting in their natural interest, you have the mob at it's finest.

Each person does what only comes natural and before you know it, it becomes impossible to do otherwise. The disincentives are too great to buck the trend.

This economic meltdown, then, was caused by the perfect storm of bad collective incentives. And then it took on a life of its own.

The blame then falls on the systemic failure to cage the beast.

The incentives of our politicians, businessmen, agencies, and consumers were aligned in dastardly precision, each one abetting and supporting the other, until the bubble burst and the party finally ended--and the bill had to be paid.

In any social system, there must be proper checks and balances to make sure the beast of human self-interest does not run amuck, all off the cliff together.

When is a Cheapie not a Cheapie?

When it used to be 2-3 times more before major discounts. (Thank you recession).

After slaving like a dog for the last couple months, the first real lunch break I got was spent in a mad dash to the local SF mall where I fell in love with my new favorite store: Martin + Osa.

Having just opened last year, they try to fill a niche consisting of a Banana Republic vibe with a tinge of J.Crew casualness. Most of their pieces are classically cut and consists of mostly natural fibers like silk, cashmere, merino or a blend of those materials.

And with incredible sales on winter season items and early spring pieces, I couldn't help getting these:

These premium denim jeans are the perfect casual Friday pair. Previously $90.00, they are now on sale for $50.00 (as are all their jeans!) When you factor in the free hemming service, which I got, they were a steal!


Which made me go back and also get...


This hot white pair. Making a come back for another Spring/Summer season, white jeans are onces again, the color of the moment.


This picture does not do this silk/cashmere blend cardigan justice. It's actually a vibrant pomegranate red with gorgeous tortoise-shell buttons. On sale from $70.00 (in store) to $50.00 (I think).


These booties were previously $160.00, but are now on sale for a mere $50! Most sizes have sold out online, but your local store may still have that one special pair with your name (and size) on it. Tall boots are equally obscenely on sale.

This last item was a total splurge--I admit it. This picture once again does not do it justice. In real life, it is the cutest dark gray fleece bomber-style jacket there ever was. I could not justify paying $80.00 for it, unless it was a gift.


And so it was. Happy Valentine's to me!

Btw kids, that's what happens when you're an old farty couple--you buy gray fleece as V-day gifts for yourself and "charge" it to your spouse. Forget jewelry and anything lacy, trust me, gray fleece is what keeps a marriage going! Ha.

On-Call

I'm so tired of being on-call. Endlessly available.

I'm so tired of living in a bubble of independence so that at a moment's notice, as soon as my blackberry summons me forth, I'm ready. Ready to review that document, revise that draft, recirculate that agreement.

I literally have a 15-minute-mobility rule. I will not travel anywhere outside of a 15-minute radius of my work station. Which basically means I live like a hermit.

Making plans with friends is extremely psychologically painful. The entire time leading up to the hour of our meeting, I'm worried I'm going to get "that email."

Then the entire time during the hour of our meeting I'm thumbing my blackberry, still dreading the sight of "that email."

It is not until I'm safely back at home that I feel a tremendous sense of relief. But what's the point of going out with friends when you're so distracted by anxiety you can't even enjoy their company?!

I don't think this holding pattern can hold much longer. Something's gotta give. Either I will lose my mind in this 10 by 10 cell of a life, or I will lose my job.

Or I will learn to be okay with disappointing my coworkers and bosses and occasionally (or more than occasionally) my friends and family. Okay, knowing myself, this latter option is impossible.

Killing Time at the 9 to 5

25 Random Things

1. I'm not tagging people cuz I'm antisocial like that.

2. I don't want to be pregnant, among other reasons, because it's like a giant billboard that tells the public you have...you know...you know! I'm a prude.

3. This list is hard. I'm already out of ideas.

4. I don't wear red. But I wear every shade of red known to man--coral, cerise, berry, fuschia, pink, papaya, watermelon, salmon, burgandy, etc.

5. I can't watch people crying on tv--can't stand snot noises.

6. I also can't watch ugly people make out on tv. Disgusting.

7. I'm shocked by how many ugly people there actually are on tv.

8. I love cop shows. A secret ambition of mine is to be a detective, homicide. The Shield is the single best cop show ever known to man.

9. Each additional item on this list is taking exponentially more time to think of then the previous.

10. I secretly think I'm too dumb to do my job properly. I do a lot of smiling and nodding with no idea what is being said. Shhh-don't tell the bosses.

11. The everyday physical pain I fear the most is a sore throat. Give me cramps, give me sinus blockage, give me bloating and headaches--just please, no sore throat!

12. No one in my family has ever died--that I know of.

13. A mutual friend tried to set my hubby and me up a year before we started dating on our own. Future hubby wasn't interested and gave me the rudest limp-fish obligatory handshake before totally dismissing me.

14. I hate attention--my wedding day was psychologically horrifying because of that.

15. I'm so pathetically the "typical" girl--love puppies, love babies, love rainbows, princesses, unicorns, and all things fashion-related.

16. I never met a female African American until age 25, at law school.

17. If I had one wish, it would be: make me a stand-up comic!

18. If I had a second wish, it would be: make me a singer!

19. Third wish: give me FU money!

20. There are sweet-tooth people and salty people. I'm a salty person--love chips, french fries, pizza, onion rings, sausages, all pork-products, and the best of all FIERY CHEETOS!

21. My parents thought I was actually and truly clinically retarded because my brother set the standard too high.

22. I'm soft as cheese. Very sensitive. Thin-skinned. Yes, the nonchalance is a total front.

23. I hate reading books, only do it cuz it makes me fall asleep!

24. The last comment honestly took me a full 5 minutes to think of. And this one is just filler, I know.

25. I secretly think 99% of Asian babies and toddlers are ugly. But not YOUR baby, yours is one of the cute ones! ;-)

La Vida NYC

Ever since everyone returned from the Holidays, I've been busier than a bumble-bee on crack. Two deals heated up simultaneously which meant I worked on one during the day and one at night. And both on the weekends!

But I wouldn't trade those 12-14 hour days for the dry periods ever. Better to work slavishly and be tethered to my blackberry than to read copious amounts of nytimes.com under the cloud of fear and impending doom, wondering when a partner is going to come and give me "the talk."

The crazy hecticness crested during a very badly timed trip to NYC I took last weekend--my firm had their corporate training retreat in their NY office. I had wanted to see lots of friends and hit the city like a serious Asian tourist--rabbit-earing all over, but I knew work would probably overtake every attempt of mine to have a life. So I didn't make many plans.

In fact I begged my partners to not make me go to NYC. They all said, "Take your laptop with you. Learn to work remotely." And work remotely I did!

But at least in the midst of all the busy-ness I still got to hang out with some very understanding friends (who didn't mind me thumbing my blackberry every 5 minutes and having me change our plans almost every day!)

Met with Tiffany at Le Pain. I wondered briefly if they called it "Le Pain" cuz of the twinge you feel when your wallet is robbed of $12 for a quiche the size of your palm.

It's NY--you have to tip everyone, even the tin man.

Did the whole touristy thing with native New Yorker and friend extraordinaire--Alaberi! Wish we had longer together, but that gives me an excuse to come back real soon.

Time Square-not nearly as fun without the flashy night-lights.

Feeding our sweet tooths visually.

I <3 NY!

The Cheapies: O.N. Redux

With recent discounts of 30% off newly arrived items, I couldn't resist taking another look at that wonderful house o' cheap: Old Navy.

This tank has a beautiful burn-out design and sports the hottest color for Spring 2009--citrus yellow. Pair it with a light grey boyfriend cardi and white pants--instant fresher-than-febreeze chic.

This light jacket is my absolute favorite item of near all time. Kick-ass design, classic and modern, laid back and sophisticated, timeless and so-very-of-the-moment. Who woulda' thunk you didn't get it from DKNY for 200 bucks?

Another great classic trench in a new updated color. Dare I wear so much magenta?! If not, there's always this never-fail color:

Cheapies: Sweet Summer Nothin'

Another Friday night, another night alone--the hazards of being a ping-pong widow. But you know what that means...another edition of the Cheapies!

Today's Cheapie is awarded in the category of:

Sweet Summer Nothin'
Light and airy numbers that make relaxation while looking good a true art form.

And what better retailer to bring these high-notes of casualness for our consideration than that favorite of mid-western teens everywhere (or at least in the mid-west): Delia's

Isn't this just the sweetest little flowery tank you ever saw?! Cool enough for the warmest Summer day and yet pretty enough for all occassions.

This picture does NOT do this dress justice. On the website you can zoom in and see the gorgeous eyelet cutout patterns that give other pricier brands a run for their money (think: J.Crew on half the dime!)

I know I already featured a tank, but this one is so pretty it bears repeating. And what a nice alternative to wife-beaters!

This little blouse is just sweet and ruffley. A perfect compliment to something denim and frayed...and nothing says Summer like cut-offs!

The easiest way to get into the whole Hollywood Boho-chic vibe. Lindsay Lohan, anyone?

What casual wardrobe can be complete without grey sweats...but pretty and wittified to make the list.

The Cheapies

Perhaps it's because we are in the throes of award season.

Perhaps it's because our down economy is bringing out the recessionista in me.

Perhaps it's because I live a sad life of corporate work and this is my only frivolous indulgence.

Whatever the reason, I bring you...

The Cheapies
A new blog series on the best cheap clothes out on the interwebs.

And what better way to kick off the series than with some excellent Spring 2009 arrivals from the quintessential house of cheap--Old Navy.

This trench is chic, vibrant, and timelessly classic--it even has a back flap with a button! And for just under 40 bucks, a definite Cheapie contender.

Another fun and classic nautical look for a song. The SF flagship store has a secret version of this (not on sale on the internet) in khaki and white--can't decide which is better...

Excellent all around Spring/Summer jacket for chilly mornings and evenings. Looks just like pricier items with those gorgeous tortoise-shell-like buttons, but definitely better for the wallet.

Which of these pieces do you think deserves to win the Cheapie?

Litigation: 1, Corporate: 0

I have to admit, in at least one aspect of work, litigation kicks corporate's butt.

(Aside for my non-lawyer readers: there are basically two flavors of lawyers--litigation and corporate. Litigators get called in when someone is suing someone. Their job is to seek and destroy the opponent. Corporate lawyers get called in when someone wants to do a deal with someone. Their job is to make the deal happen. Is it any wonder then that I'm a corporate lawyer? I'm a dealer, not a fighter.)

But there's one thing about corporate law that I hate. I hate hate hate. Like bane-of-my-existence hate. HATE!

The utter unpredictability. At any moment, at the drop of a hat, the client can call and say: GO, JUMP, NOW! And you have to pull out the trampoline, drop everything, and work like a dog until the deal is done. (Litigators, I hear, for the most part, don't have this issue. They have a court schedule, they know what's coming usually.)


A mid-level corporate associate, let's call her Betty, once told me that she had planned a romantic getaway weekend with her hubby months in advance only to have it ruined by a sudden client emergency. The reservations were unrefundable too. But that's not the worst part...

"Oh no?" you say, "What could be worse than having your unrefundable deposits and plane tickets wasted and your well-deserved and much anticipated vacation ruined to bits?"

Hang on to your hats ladies and gentlemen, because this is the REALLY perverse thing about corporate law...

She ended up NOT having to work that weekend after all!

Junior associates are expected to pre-emptorily cancel their plans on the off-chance that they are likely to be needed by the partner. Asking the partner to explicitly specify whether they will actually need you is bad form (so I've been told after I asked a partner to explicitly specify whether I would be needed for a late night once).

You're not supposed to ask. The phrase, "It never hurts to ask" does NOT apply to interchanges between junior associates and partners.

So when the partner says, "This client might need us this weekend." That's your cue to cancel the trip, sit in your office, and wait. And wait. And wait. And if the call never comes, it never comes.

Although I haven't had the same awful experience as Betty, I definitely feel the pressure on my non-work life. I'm afraid to plan things with friends. If someone is going to come visit from out of town, I'm deathly afraid that I might have to be the worst hostess ever and leave them watching tv in my home alone for days or touring the city by themselves. I never know if I'll make dinners, parties, even Christmas is not guaranteed!

Doctors can sort of sympathize since it's like being on-call. But the difference is corporate lawyers are ALWAYS on-call. It sucks. I feel like I live in a figurative 10 by 10 jail cell of life.

You never allow yourself to look forward to things too much, because you know...one buzz of that blackberry...

And you're afraid to make plans with people. People don't understand. You run the risk of being forever thought of as a jerk should you have to cancel too often on too short notice.

And so inevitably you start to make plans with the only other kind of person in the world who would understand, a fellow corporate lawyer.

A sad breed indeed.

Brother can you spare some work?

Work has been slow.

I mean really slow. I mean like I-haven't-done-any-legitimate-work-in-21-days-and-counting slow. Like, why-get-dressed-in-the-morning-and-continue-the-pretense-that-I-am-anything-but-a-very-expensive-piece-of-office-decor sloooooooow.

I understand that the nature of corporate work is to be hot and cold. I've had these periods of slow-downs before. But they usually only last a few days, a week at most. Not 4 weeks! 4 WEEKS!

And the irony is I can't even put all this free time to good use. All day long this awful dread in my gut is sucking the lifeblood out of me. There are so many things I'd like to do (like find a doctor, go to Monterey, take music lessons) but I just don't have the motivation. I'm too occupied waiting for the sky to fall down on me--or more accurately, the axe.

This isn't tenable is it? During these tough economic times when firm after firm is freezing salaries and laying-off workers, when the unemployment rate is creeping up into double-digits, when California can't even pay their tax returns?!?!?!

How can my firm hold on to an absolutely idle worker?

Better

2009 Resolutions

(1) Join an Asian legal association in hopes of finding a mentor.
Likelihood of keeping resolution (LOKR): 90%

(2) Subscribe to a business magazine (and read it!)
LOKR: 90%

(3) Read TIME from cover to cover.
LOKR: 70%

(4) Learn more Chinese.
LOKR: 45%

(5) Use an electronic toothbrush.
LOKR: 50%

(6) Floss daily.
LOKR: 65%

(7) Spend under $1k on things to wear.
LOKR: 99%

(8) Take singing lessons.
LOKR: 90%

A Perfect Day...

...begins at A Perfect Day Spa with an hour-long deep tissue massage (fobby and cheap--just how I like it),

And then some pho at a 4-Yelp-star hole-in-the-wall,

And then this phenomenal movie in which Meryl shows off her kick-ass acting chops. Philip Seymour Hoffman, a grade-A actor in his own right, becomes the perfect foil against which Meryl shines with the lustre of a consummate professional at the top of her game.


Although the movie is by no means a comedy, I found myself laughing more often and lustily than when watching any given SNL episode. The truth is funny!

Or it maybe its cuz SNL sucks now...

Tis the Season: Jesus v. Santa

This picture captures the essence of the holiday season for me (albeit in a very blasphemous way--my apologies to those who are very serious about the 2nd commandment).

This year Christmas totally snuck up on me. It doesn't even FEEL like Christmas. Maybe it's because the last 3 years I've been in Boston where it actually starts LOOKING like the quintessential winter wonderland during December. And now, this beautiful California weather is just not giving my brain the cues it needs.

But I think the real reason is because I'm working. School has such a nice rhythm, whith its big long Christmas breaks. But now that I'm a cog, it's the daily grind every day except Christmas Day and the day after. Christmas is no more special than Thanksgiving--that's a big blow to Christmas.

Or maybe the real reason is cuz I'm dead inside. I've heard that firm life can do that to a person.

The Office Party

Last Saturday M and I went to my firm's Holiday Party. It was my first corporate party so I was mildly excited.

Not much to report. It was unremarkable. Here's a quick summary: loud music; awkward conversation--smile, nod head, smile, sip champagne, repeat; and rubbery appetizers.

No wonder people get drunk at these events! The uncomfortableness of the whole situation would drive anyone to the bottle.

I guess working at a fancy law firm, I expected something better--fireworks and luxury! But apparently the overarching theme for our party was A Very Merry Recession: A Low Budget Affair!

But there was one big upside, M and I took a nice Christmas picture. It'll be a top contender for the cover of our Couple's Christmas Card 2009.

Odds and Ends

I'm not sure if its all the bad economic news,
or just my naturally pessimistic nature,
but I've been feeling a cloud of dread about my job.

Like any day the other shoe will drop and I'll be sent packing.

Actually I think it's all the internet surfing I do at work. (And the 6-hour work days). Those just seem like good bases upon which to get fired, don't they? I should be doing more training or administrative tasks, but I just can't find it within me to do boring things that no one explicitly assigns me!

Anyway, amidst all the job ups and downs here are some slices of life:

Michael and I celebrate passing the bar by going miniature golfing, something I haven't done since highschool. And now I know why...not very fun as an adult.


Soaked in a bathtub for the first time (with Crabtree & Evelyn bath salts and inflatable pillow).


The water was too hot. I felt like a poaching egg. Not as relaxing as I hoped.


Meet the newest love of my life. Got it from a guy off craigslist who had no idea what the true value of this 6'foot hunk of gorgeousness is. Let's just say I basically got an 80% discount.

Mauritania!

Mauritania is the answer to all our problems!


Mauritania is a land where up is down! Black is white! And big is beautiful! (Ok, only the last statement is true.)

Yes, that small country in the northwestern region of Africa has the opposite cultural ideal of beauty than that which is held by pretty much the rest of the world. Plump women are considered gorgeous, and skinny (or "scrawny" as they call it) women are disgusting.

Young girls are force-fed cous-cous and fatty milk until they vomit and then force-fed some more! This ritual causes all kinds of unhealthful side-effects in older women, as one can well imagine--high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, etc.

But Oprah couldn't get enough of it. I saw her show on "beauty around the world," which had a segment on Mauritania and she could not hide her fascination with this place in which her long-battled gut would actually be a boon and not a curse.

She was so overjoyed she burst out into song, "There's a place for us...Somewhere a place for us..."

Sure Oprah would fit right in to Mauritania, but what about naturally scrawny girls? Isn't that the problem with cultural ideals of beauty (no matter how much they may vary from culture to culture)?

Someone, somewhere is always ugly.

Memento

Once in a while I'll find words and phrases that I really like. Thought it would be nice to remember them on my blog.

"She is comfort; loving like an embrace.
Her eyes look like home."
~Anonymous

Clearing the Bar

Crisis averted! I'm alive and well. PTL and thank you Jesus!

Help Me Gentle Reader

This week has been a rather slow week for me so I actually have a chance to post an entry before I zonk out for the day! I'll take this opportunity to ask you, my classy readers, about a burning question I face everyday.

Question: When you step into your office building (and it's just you there at the moment) should you greet the security person?


Everyday when I walk in the building I start worrying about what to do as I walk by the security person's desk. I'm almost always alone (I get to work late) and it's almost always the same guy. Tall, Asian, young, nerdy, nice looking fellow.

At first I avoided his gaze 'cuz I thought he was smiling a bit too eagerly. But then I noticed some of my officemates greeting Asian Guy as they walked past. Was I remiss not to do the same?

Tomrrow will be the 49th time I walk by. Isn't it too late to start saying hello?

What Life?

Work has officially taken over my life.


For the last 3 weeks, besides for a half-hour of tv here or there, I basically wake up, work for 10-12 hours, eat dinner (read: food that came in a can) and zonk out.

I've given up on taking lunches too. Lunch. What is that? That's a foreign concept to me. It sounds vaguely familiar...

My desk is stashed with nutrition bars, nuts, chocolate, and the occasional dried fruit package. It's like Survivor, the desk-drawer edition.

And you know what?

It's still ok with me.

I like what I do. I like the people I work with (for the most part). And I still like not thinking about making personal choices. If I could only work in a few more fresh fruits and vegetables here and there, things would actually be pretty perfect.

And friends. I miss my friends.